


Better Believe It

by zeenanigans1983



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Sebastian Stan - Fandom
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Mild Smut, Reader-Insert, Romance, angst maybe?, plus sized reader, real person fiction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:09:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 26,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23260753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeenanigans1983/pseuds/zeenanigans1983
Summary: Ah...here I am again, another Sebastian Stan/Reader story for all y'all! This quarantine period is giving me all the time in the world to write and read and yeah, I'm gonna stop right here and let you all read! Hope you show the same love for this just as you did with my recently concluded Seb story.Stay safe, wash your hands and don't go out unless it's necessary!
Relationships: Sebastian Stan/Original Female Character(s), Sebastian Stan/Plus Sized Reader, Sebastian Stan/Reader, Sebastian Stan/You
Comments: 10
Kudos: 83





	1. 1

You couldn't believe you were here. After ten years, you finally got to live out one of your dreams which was to travel to the United States and attend the biggest comic convention in California, the San Diego Comic Con.

You're in your late thirties and was still helplessly yet blissfully single. This is probably why you got to live out this dream--no family to look after, only your parents but your mother was practically pimping you out to any decent single man she'd meet and tell any one of her colleagues how you're still unspoken for.

You didn't mind though, your mother never meant for anything else but your well being. Your younger brother had been married for nearly ten years with two wonderful children you doted on like your own.

But your own curiosity has caught on to you after being a late bloomer. Your early teenage years were only spent between school/college and home, not really allowing much for indulging in any hobby except reading and writing. When you started working around your early 20s was when you realized you needed to catch up on all the things you missed out on--going out with friends, watching movies and shopping on your own, traveling in and around your country as well as in Asia and of course, fangirling over celebrities that tickled your fancy.

There were many of them as you got older--Freddie Prinze jr., George Clooney, Chris O'Donnell, Mark Wahlberg, among so many others but none of them ever made your heart skip two beats than Tom Hiddleston and Sebastian Stan. Those two with their similar blue eyes that held an air of mischief in them, their smooth as honey voices that could go from soft, soothing to spine tingling and terrifying at any given time. You were blown away by their immense talent and even more so with their genuine, down to earth personas. It wasn't hard to love them both, and you became a fan, now running for more than a decade now.

And now, just as your badge got scanned, you were going to see one half of them in person in a few hours.

You arrived at the convention center with the events already in full swing. Being that this was your first, it was a little overwhelming to see almost everyone around you in full cosplay regalia. You didn't know where to look and as you got deeper into the throng of people, you felt the first signs of a panic attack coming on. It hit you quicker than you thought, and you found yourself immediately running towards the nearest emergency exit you could find but you bumped into a person instead, jolting you back to where you are when a splash of hot liquid came into contact with your chest.

A woman was cursing, you could hear her but she sounded far away. She stopped abruptly and the next thing you knew, you were led to an infirmary like section of the center.

"What happened?" this time, a male sounding voice spoke with genuine concern as you got appraised.

"She was running frantically towards one of the exits and she nearly knocked me over. As you can see, she spilt the coffee I was bringing instead."

A certain humor laced her voice but she straightened up right after.

"Anyway, I immediately saw her face so pale and her breathing was heavy and I realized she was having a panic attack so--," she stopped again when her phone rang.

"Oh hey boss, sorry, I got a little sidelined, can your brain handle a few more minutes without caffeine? I got a situation here--no, no...I-I'm fine, I'll tell you when I get back...20 minutes? Yeah, okay, thanks, see ya then...oookay, so where we? Oh yeah, panic attack, yes. Let's just say I have seen my fair share of them which is why I brought her here."

The two voices conversed for a few more minutes and in that time, you'd started coming back to yourself, becoming more aware of your surroundings. When you lifted your head, 2 pairs of concerned eyes were looking at you.

"Hey there," the guy said. He was wearing a pale blue scrub suit and regarded you with an easy, calming smile. The woman beside him was also smiling at you.

The male nurse explained to you in detail what happened and had asked you to stay in the infirmary until you had fully calmed down. Your breathing still felt labored although you weren't gasping for air anymore. A glass of water was brought to you and you took small sips.

The woman, who you now learned was named Kayla, sat beside you.

"I'm sorry I ran towards you," you finally speak up. Kayla only shakes her head and gives you an understanding smile.

"It's fine really," she says. "I can just buy coffee again and change clothes, but I can't just let you go and suffer from that panic attack alone."

"I...thank you..I just-I never had one the last few years and the first time I come here is when it decides to show up," you say a little frustratedly. The nurse comes back and offers to check your blood pressure and Kayla takes this as her cue to get going. She tells you to attend the panel for Marvel later if you feel up for it. You agree with a smile and thank her again. 

"That's actually what I'm here for, you know?" you tell the nurse named Dean as he finishes taking your BP. 

"Good for you. Sorry can't help but overhear, but is this really your first time? In America, at a comic con?" 

You nod slowly and become a little shy.

"Hey, no judgment here..you know what? My cousin can show you around, she's been into these things for for-E-VER!" Dean pulls out his phone and calls his cousin. A tall redhead dressed in a white version of the Black Widow attire arrives after about ten minutes with an excited grin. 

"Hey, Y/N? This is Geri, Geri, this is Y/N."

You smile shyly at the striking woman in front of you but she pulls you into a hug instead.

"Oh my god, hi!" she squeals in your ear. You flinch a little, but nonetheless, her enthusiasm makes you smile.

"Um...hi," you say sheepishly once you both broke off from the hug. "You didn't have to um..."

"Oh no, no, not a problem at all! I love showing people around, especially first timers! Dean said you're from (Your Country)? That is so awesome!" 

Once Dean was satisfied and you reassured him you were feeling a whole lot better, Geri was pulling you out of the infirmary and back to the con's various activities. You did feel a lot better now that someone who knows the ropes was with you and you finally found yourself enjoying the convention. 

Not long after, you had a tote bag full of collectibles and had changed into a shirt that said 'I'd Date You, But You're Not Bucky Barnes'. This definitely earned you a few hearty laughs from Geri. 

"Oh god, I love you already!"

You laughed with her, the anxiety attack earlier now feeling like a distant memory. You reached out and gave Geri's arm a light squeeze. 

"Thanks for showing me around, Geri. I really appreciate it," you say to her with all the sincerity you can muster. 

"Nawwww don't mention it! I'm just glad I can help you acclimate. You remind me of when I first attended one of these things and I just want this to be as memorable for you as it was for me."

Geri gives you a grin and you link arm in arm and continued on your way.


	2. Chapter 2

Lunch came soon and both of you were engrossed in conversation about the upcoming panel a few hours later on.

"I was this close to seeing him in Japan but he had to bail just right after the organizers confirmed him. To think I almost bought plane tickets!" you nearly squeal at the last sentence.

"Yeah, that's sort of a thing with cons and celebrity guests," Geri responds as she nibbles on her fries. "Last year I was supposed to go and see Chris Hemsworth but he got held up back home because of a family emergency. Good thing I only had to drive if I'd gone."

She then asked you why you latched on to Sebastian Stan.

"I mean, I like the guy, but he's into these offbeat roles...is that your thing?" 

You stopped mid-sip of your soda and looked at Geri thoughtfully and grinned a little.

"Oh yeah, I'm definitely into broken white boys for sure!" you say while laughing, remembering his preference for a porn star name.

"Stop playing, Y/N!" Geri slaps your arm playfully.

"Okay, okay fine!" you relent and you can feel your chest flutter whenever you think about why you fell in love with the actor in the first place.

"Oh my god, I know that look..." your companion gasps and your grin grows.

"What?" you chuckle. "What look?"

"Oh girl, I've seen that look a million times and let me tell you, it ain't happening. You know that right?"

You definitely knew what she meant and your smile weakens with a tinge of disappointment. No matter how many times you tell yourself how unhealthy or unrealistic it was to pine over someone of his stature, your insistent, forever single heart couldn't help but dream sometimes.

"Of course," you reply softly, your voice sounding sadder than you expected. "It's just nice to think about it sometimes, you know what I mean?"

Geri nods at you in satisfaction. "Good. I've seen people get so hell bent over their affection for celebrities and its gotten ugly, believe me."

"You ready for this?" Geri asked as you got situated in your seats at Hall H. You felt a billion butterflies take flight from the pit of your stomach. Taking a deep breath, you then tried and smiled at Geri but a grimace graces your lips instead, making her laugh out loud.

"That bad?" you ask nervously. You started rubbing your palms against each other until the panel host came up on stage, the thunderous applause making you even more nervous than you were just mere moments ago. Geri asks you to take a few deep breaths to calm your nerves and it works. Your shoulders finally relax and your hands stop shaking as the host started the panel. 

  
  


"Ugh, finally, K!" Sebastian breathes out as Kayla comes barging back in, coffee and muffin in tow for her grumpy and hungry boss.

"Jeez Sebastian, keep your wig on, I was gone for only like, half hour. Like I didn't tell you what happened?" 

Sebastian huffs before gratefully taking the bag of pastry and cup of joe from his assistant's hands. "Is she alright?"

Kayla nods slowly at recalling your incident with her earlier. "But it was bad when she was right in the middle of it. She reminded me of you that one time when you did that Bravo show?" 

Sebastian nods. He was barely able to hold it together that day for that Andy Cohen talk show AND the Peter Travers interview that were taped just within hours of each other.

"Anyway, I hope she's doing alright. It'd be a total suckass considering how this is her first con and all."

Sebastian didn't say anything and instead began picking on the edges of the muffin in between sips of coffee. Kayla took this as a cue to keep talking about you. 

"Just before I left, I overheard her telling the nurse that you were the only reason why she came in the first place. All the way from the Philippines…can you fucking believe that?!"

At this particular tidbit was when Sebastian's interest got piqued. He raised an eyebrow as he eyed Kayla. "Really?" 

"No shit. I'm even betting this is her first time here in the US too. You sure have the best fans in the world."

And the best, they really were. Sebastian got out to a thunderous applause from everyone in the hall, he felt his face redden at what he thought was overblown attention but judging from the way everyone was smiling at him, he felt the sincerity of it all. 

"That was crazy, you guys," he says bashfully and drops his head a bit before lifting it again. "Thank you, thank you, you guys are amazing. Makes a man feel really good." 

The panel host chuckles before he begins talking to his guest. Not long after, they were talking about the success of his Disney+ series The Falcon and the Winter Soldier.

"Yeah, I mean, you know it's been insane that people are still so deeply invested and curious about Bucky, you know what I mean?"

Sebastian leans back in his seat as the host nods enthusiastically with him. He's asked a few more questions before the panel was opened up to fan questions. As he was waiting for the audience to fall in line, he happened to pass a glance at a woman who wore a statement shirt about Bucky Barnes. He couldn't quite make out what it said and as he squinted to take a look, his phone vibrates in his pocket. Just as he was taking it out, the woman stands and falls in line with what he could only surmise was a nervous huff. 

_ iMessage from Kayla _

_ OMG Seb, she's here! The girl I was telling you about! The con virgin from the other side of the world!  _

Sebastian chances a quizzical look at his assistant who was grinning like a cheshire cat on the side of the stage. He wasn't sure what she was trying to play at and so he straightened up his expression and smiled at the first person on the mic below the stage.

"Hi," he drawls. "What's your name?"

The teenage girl grins nervously before introducing herself and asking her question. Sebastian gives her an encouraging grin as he listened.

"Well," he exhaled lightly as he straightened up. "Prague was great and it really was such a bummer that our time there was cut short. But of course, as always, safety first so…y'know..I would love to come back though."

The girl thanks him profusely and the line moves for the next person. It is when it does that he finally gets a better look at you wearing the Bucky Barnes statement shirt.

You definitely looked slightly older than the other people around you, but he thought you couldn't be more than 30 years old. Curious thoughts began running through his mind until the host caught his attention again.

Before he knew it, you were up on the mic and were swaying from side to side, something you do when you're extremely nervous. Sebastian smiles warmly at you and when you return it, he smiles even more.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's next? Well, here it is! Enjoy!

"Hi," he says and you had to will yourself to keep upright at the gentle lilt of his voice.

The entire hall felt like it was drifting away, leaving only you standing there and him seated on the stage. Cliché, you thought to yourself, but there was no other appropriate way to describe the moment.

You have had your fair share of encounters with very good looking people AKA people you clearly thought were out of your league. In the office, you even met an Andrew Garfield look alike who sat with you as he watched you work, outside of, you've met one of your most favorite singers multiple times but nothing in your treasure trove of experiences could have prepared you for seeing him for the first time. This wasn't even in the realm of possibility for you a year ago when you finally had the guts (and to be honest, the money) to submit a US visa application.

He looked slightly taller in person, even when seated, the thighs of betrayal that had been lusted over by too many women (and men) in full display courtesy of his skintight jeans. His outfit was as nondescript as it could be, just a graphic tee and that trusty old brown leather jacket you've seen one too many times. No matter what he wore, he always looked good and today was no exception. "Hi," you finally squeaked out, your voice sounding tinny to your own ears. You had to clear your throat, and the sound reverberated through the entire hall making everybody laugh. 

_"HUG HER! SHE CAME ALL THE WAY FROM THE PHILIPPINES TO SEE YOU!"_ Geri shouted from the back which was echoed by her friends and soon, the rest of the people in the hall. In the corner of your eye, you could see a few of the con staff egging him on to go for it. 

The next few moments seemed to pass by in slow motion; he was finally jumping off the front of the stage, sprinting to where you were standing until he finally got to you to envelop you in a bear hug, lifting and spinning you off the floor for what felt like forever. "I want to see you. Please tell me you have passes to the meet and greet later," you hear him whispering in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You clutched on to the sides of his jacket, breathing him in and in shock at his words.

  
It seemed that Sebastian was in the same predicament, as he found himself staring into nothing an hour after the panel had ended. Anthony Mackie made a brief appearance which made him momentarily forget the brashness of his words to you, but as the session ended and he was back in his holding room, he was wondering what the hell made him say, or rather, beg for you to see him at the meet and greet. 

"Earth to Sebastian, hul-lo?" 

It didn't register that his assistant was rapidly snapping his fingers in his face until Kayla poked his nose.

"Oh, um…yeah...what's up?" he fumbles distractedly. Kayla looks at him funny but ignores his momentary distraction before speaking up. 

"Meet and greet's been moved up to half an hour from now. Do you need anything before that?" 

_I need to get my head straight, that's what._ He thinks to himself wryly. He just shakes his head in response before picking up and fiddling with his phone. 

"Oookay then," Kayla says slowly before finding a place to sit. They do so in comfortable silence for a few minutes before she speaks again. 

"You said something to that lady at the panel earlier, didn't you?"

Sebastian's head whips up to her so fast he felt a tinge dizzy. "W-what?" 

Her eyes widen in surprise before grinning as if she found out a tightly kept secret. "Oh my god, Seb, you totally did!"

He opens his mouth to try and say something but it ends up sounding like a groan of pain. He clears his throat and recomposes himself. Kayla was still looking at him with a shit eating grin. 

"Aw fuck you, K. What makes you think I did?" 

Kayla giggles. "Don't peg me as stupid, Stan. She was blushing like hell after you scooped her up. She was shaking like a leaf when she returned to her seat."

Sebastian was speechless once more, something that was a rarity for him.

  
 _Where the fuck did you go, Geri?_ Your brain screamed out. You needed someone to talk to after _that_.

You waited until most of the crowds had left before leaving the hall yourself, mostly so as to avoid another panic attack and to calm your nerves racing like it was competing in the fucking Indy 500.

"There you are!" Geri squeals and when you turn around, you see her running towards you excitedly. You slowly stand up but she barges into you for a hug, nearly knocking you both down in the process. You can't help but smile feeling her happiness radiating from her to you. 

"Oh my god," you breathe out to her as you both walked out of the hall. "What the fuck just happened?"

"He totally said something to you did he? I'm sorry I couldn't get back right away, another friend I haven't seen in a long time wouldn't let me get back," Geri says apologetically. You just nod at her in understanding. She squeezes your arm. "So what did he tell you?" 

You recall the sound of his voice in your ear, low and pleading and somehow it makes you feel confused yet excited at the same time. Your brain is questioning why he said what he said but your poor fangirl heart feels like it would explode. 

"I…he said he hoped to see me at the meet and greet," you opted to tell Geri the simple truth. The redhead's eyes widen in disbelief. 

"No way…"

You just nod and softly say yes to her. She smiles at you excitedly and was about to say something but you beat her to it. "But I only have day passes. I don't have enough money for photo ops or meet and greets."

"Aw hun…" her expression sombers together with her tone. "I wish there was something I could do to help, but I'm broke as a twig."

You shake your head and pat her hand on your arm. "It's okay…I--I already am super lucky beyond expectation when he hugged me. That's something I'm gonna remember for the rest of my life."

You explored the rest of the expo in the con for about an hour more before finally deciding to call it a day and heading back to your hotel. Social media handles were exchanged so you and your newfound friend Geri can keep in touch. 

Despite feeling tired, sleep was evading you that night. Your brain was still buzzing and your heart was still aflutter as you kept replaying Sebastian's hug in your brain for hours. It was kinda disappointing that you couldn't be at the meet and greet but eventually you had to console yourself with the possibility that he might have totally forgotten about you already. By the time you did that, it was already past 3 in the morning.


	4. Chapter 4

You still had a few more weeks in your US trip which you plan to spend with your cousin who lives in Chicago. She was waving frantically at you as soon as she saw you emerge from the arrivals area. 

"Oh my god, Y/N!" Hart nearly screamed at you when you came closer. "You're here!" 

You could only giggle at her as you both walked out of the airport. You told her all about your weekend in San Diego and she couldn't pick up her jaw fast enough after you told her about your encounter with Sebastian Stan. 

"So did you go?" she asks, breathless with anticipation. 

You could only shake your head slowly.

"What!?"

You scoff. "Pfft, I didn't have the money to buy a ticket, and besides, he probably just said that because I was wearing a shirt that said something about Bucky Barnes. I'm sure he totally forgot about it after that."

"Well, you have a point, movie stars do have a side of 'em only meant for public consumption," she says thoughtfully and you could.only nod in agreement. The topic was immediately dropped and you spent the rest of the long drive on catching up with each other's lives. 

Hart shows you your room and you don’t even bother unpacking, just picking out the first pieces of clothing you deem comfy enough to sleep in and fall asleep within minutes after cleaning up and changing. This was something of a talent you consider lucky as you don’t have to stress about missing precious sleep wherever you go.

It was already dark out when you woke up. You immediately got up to check your phone only to find the battery had already died out. “Shit,” you muttered to yourself, along with a few other choice words to reprimand yourself about forgetting. You remembered your family back home, thinking they must be worried you haven’t checked in with them like you promised to.

Finally getting your phone to charge, you waited for a few minutes for it to have sufficient battery, deciding to pass the time by going downstairs to see if Hart and her kids were still up. To your relief, they were.

“Oh hey, Y/N, d’you sleep good? Kids, say hi to your aunt Y/N, go on,” she motions for the boys to get up and they come up to you to give you hugs.

“Oh my gosh, you both are so big now! God, I feel old!” you say as they take turns hugging you.

“Mom says you met and hugged Bucky Barnes!” Noah, Hart’s eldest child tells you excitedly. Her other son, Adam smiles at you with the same level of enthusiasm. They pull you to the table and you tell them about the encounter.

“You’ll probably see some videos in Youtube,” you tell them as you end your story.

“Well,” Hart exhaled. “You heard her, it’s time to head upstairs and prep for bed. Lights off by 11, you hear?”

Both boys nod at their mom and kiss her good night. They both gave you one last hug too and they were off to their rooms.

“So...you must be starving,” Hart asks you and produces a plate from the fridge. You smile gratefully at her and begin digging in.

“Oh my god, this is soo good,” you muse in between bites. Your cousin chuckles.

“I figured you’d be hungry after that nap so I decided to make something special for dinner, glad you liked it.”

“This is amazing, thank you. If you need to head on to bed, I can clean up here after I finish,” you offer. Hart tells you how to use the dishwasher and leaves you to your own devices. After finishing cleaning up, you take the bottle of wine she left for you and head back to your room to check on your phone.

“Oh god,” you breathe out when you see an awful lot of notifications from your social media accounts. You opened one from Instagram and gasped when you saw the number of videos you got tagged on.

“What the…” you mutter as you saw there were multiple Instagram videos of Sebastian hugging you at his panel on SDCC. You scroll through the tagged videos before clicking on a private message from Geri.

_ OMG, Y/N, you’ve gone viral girl! _

You let her stay seen zoned as you had to message your family back home first. There were your other friends that had messaged you too, but none of them seem to be oblivious to the fact that your 15 minutes of fame had just been thrust upon you so you respond to Geri as soon as your family had been properly updated.

_ You _

_ OMG what the fuck is going on Geri???  _

_ Geri _

_ Where the hell have you been? You're all over socials! _

You were about to respond to her again when another notification pops up. 

_ @imsebastianstan liked a video you were tagged in. _

Your trembling thumb taps on the notification and true enough, the most recent like was indeed from the man himself. "What the fuck…"

  
  


Sebastian leaned back on his seat and smiled sheepishly. While he was disappointed you didn't show up at the meet and greet, he was secretly pleased a lot of people had gone nuts about his gesture to you which meant multiple angles of videos he could watch over and over.

Which meant eventually he had to overthink every detail of the moment. He tried recalling how you smelled, how you felt soft in his arms, how your breaths were coming in short bursts, how you trembled and how you smiled shyly at him when he let you go.

Kayla's voice on his apartment door felt like a bucket of cold water on his face, snapping him immediately out of his trance.

"Hey," she greeted and he pulled her for a hug before stepping aside to let her in. "I'm just dropping off your dry cleaning and then I'm heading out to the office for your schedule for the next 2 weeks." She says as she heads straight to his room to place the hangers on his closet. 

Sebastian nods and returns to the couch to play with his phone again. Kayla returns after a few minutes.

"Y'know, she's actually pretty if I'm being honest. Not that you obviously care," she says as she stood behind him on the couch, making him jump and nearly dropping his phone. 

"Jesus fucking Christ, K, don't fucking sneak up on me like that!" He puts his phone face down and glares at his assistant but she laughs at him instead.

"The hell are you laughing about?" 

Kayla shrugs. "You have a crush and you don't even know it. How old are you again? 37 right?"

"Why are you such a smartass?" Sebastian asks irritably. "Nope, don't answer that, you're supposed to go meet Leslie right? Goodbye Kayla." 

Kayla scoffs good naturedly but bids her employer goodbye. Sebastian shakes his head at her with a small but genuine smile. She'd only been with him for a couple of years but she already knows him well enough to understand his quirks, eccentricities and moods.

And he couldn't deny to himself that her observations weren't too far off.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! What's up? I know there's a lot going on right now and I can only hope that if at least, for a tiny bit, this lets you escape all the madness. Love to the world!

After a week's reprieve, Sebastian had found himself rushing to the airport to fly out to Chicago to meet with a casting director for a project with an upcoming writer/director, Phillip Jarvis. He immediately said yes when he learned that it was one of the scholars from New York Film School who had attended one of his talks there.

"Hi, Sebastian, so glad you could come!" Phillip said excitedly with a hug. 

"Oh absolutely," he responded enthusiastically. "I am so glad it's finally happening for you!"

Phillip escorted him to the coffee shop they had rented for the day where the auditions were to take place. A few people were already there, including his agent, Roxanne and Kayla, of course. She was immediately by his side with her iPad in tow to discuss what was gonna happen for the rest of the morning.

"After the audition you don't have anything else lined up apart from lunch with Phil, Cassidy and Roxie. Your next appointment is next week with Marvel about the 2nd season of your Disney+ series. Roxie says the writers want you and Mackie to be there to see the 1st draft of the script."

"Okay, got it. Thanks K. Won't you be joining us for lunch?" he asks, to which the assistant shakes her head.

"Nah, I'm meeting up with some cousins I haven't seen in a while. Oh shit," she gasped. "I forgot to tell you, I--is that alright? I mean, I could cancel if you need m--" 

"Stop it, Kayla," Sebastian responds with an airy chuckle of amusement. "Of course it's alright, I'm gonna be fine by myself for the rest of the day. You can take the rest of the day off if you really need to."

The audition was nearly over and Sebastian was finishing with the scene he was acting out when the chimes of the door sounded, signalling that a customer had come inside. They were in a closed off part of the coffee shop and they could only hear faint sounds as voices spoke in the near distance. 

  
  


"Hey, sorry, we're not opening until after 3," a tired looking girl points out the sign to you at the door that said what she just told you. You gasp softly. 

You'd discovered this tiny but cozy coffee shop just about ten minutes from Hart's place. It reminded you of the same one you were frequenting at the beginning of last year and so you began hanging out in it whenever Hart and the kids were off to work and school. You smile apologetically at the girl now standing behind the register. 

"Oh god, I am so sorry I didn't notice the sign. I, uh, I'll just come back later," you say as you turned around and began walking to the door. She calls you out just as you were reaching for the door handle.

"Wait, I think I've seen you before, Hart's cousin aren't you?"

You turn around and you see her sliding a cup of steaming black joe towards you.

"Here," she says. "This one's on the house, I'll actually just charge this to the people who rented the place out."

She smiles at you conspiratorially and you can't help but smile back, despite your slight embarrassment. You take the proffered drink after hesitating for a split second.

"I-uh--thanks. You're very kind," you tell her with a grateful smile. "Um, who's in there anyway?" 

She leans over and speaks in a hushed voice. "I heard it's Sebastian Stan auditioning for a role. But don't tell anyone, my boss will kill me if paps show up."

"S-Sebastian Stan?" you stuttered out and nearly dropped the cup you were holding. The barista's face brightens up, seemingly recognizing who you are.

"Oh my god!" she whisper squeals. "You're the girl he hugged at SDCC! I can't believe I didn’t recognize you right away!"

A blush creeps up from your neck up to your cheeks. When Geri said you went viral you didn't think about this particular situation happening to you. You were at a loss for words so you just gave another smile and left.

  
  


Inside, right around the same time you got recognized, Sebastian was shaking after he finished his audition piece. Everyone was silent after he said his last line you could hear a pin drop if there was one.

This is exactly what he loved about acting. He could lose himself in the characters he chooses to play and be as affected as he wants to be. It's as if he's continuing to discover layers and layers of himself through these roles and still keep the privilege of allowing those discoveries for himself.

"At first I thought you were going to punch something there," Phillip mused in between bites. "That was amazing, Seb." Their party moved to a nearby Italian restaurant downtown for a late lunch. 

Sebastian shook his head before taking a sip of water. "Nah, it was the material that was amazing Phil. The conflict was just jumping off the page and I just interpreted it best I could."

He was about to take another forkful of pasta when the restaurant owner's voice boomed in the background. 

"Hartley!" he said in a heavily accented Italian tone. "You are early no? Finally decided to stop working too hard, bella?" 

"Oh Giovani," the woman who was called Hartley chuckled. Their voices got lower and Sebastian continued eating. He would occasionally glance towards your cousin's way, something about her seemed familiar to him, like he had seen her or someone that looked like her before.

It was then that you decided to make your appearance known.

Sebastian's jaw dropped upon recognizing you right away, in sheer disbelief that he had found you unintentionally. Not that he had agonized about not seeing you at the meet and greet. He did not lose a couple of night's sleep at that  _ at all. _

"Seb…" Roxie's voice coaxes him back to their conversation. "You okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."

She looks at the direction he was too and furrows her brows. She returns her gaze back to Sebastian who was still sporting the same dazed look. A small grunt of confusion escapes her lips as to why her client seemed to be befuddled by a woman she thought he hadn't seen before. 

"Who are you staring at Sebastian? Do you know her?"

Sebastian swallows an invisible lump and is torn whether to answer his agent's question but Roxie saves him the trouble. 

"You know what, never mind, your personal life is yours."

He could only watch as you and your cousin walked out of the restaurant.

"I'm not crazy, K! I told you she's here in Chicago! The girl from the con!" 

"Oooookay, Seb. You really need to get a grip. That's too much of a coincidence. You sure you weren't just imagining it was her? You must have missed her more than you're admitting to yourself."

Sebastian paces in his hotel room while Kayla plops down on the sofa, perusing her list on her iPad. Her boss sits down and drops his head back on the backside of the sofa with a big sigh. 

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" he asks frustratedly.

Kayla puts her iPad down and looks at Sebastian thoughtfully.

"Nothing's wrong with you, dumbass. You are interested in this girl, just need to admit it to yourself."

He sighs heavily and runs a hand over his face. "I shouldn't be," he mumbles. "Did you see the last time I tried to date someone? They were fucking disasters. I can't do it. The stress is just not worth it."

"Who said you had to date her?"

Sebastian sits up straight and eyes his assistant warily. "I don't?" 

"Look," Kayla sighed. "If she's really staying here in Chicago and it's meant to happen, you'll see her again. If that happens, ask her for coffee and see what happens from there. You go way too far in your head. Relax."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are you liking this so far? Let me know, please? LOL


	6. Chapter 6

"He was there?!?! At the coffee shop?!" 

You sighed and let out a shaky breath. You still couldn't believe he was in the same city as you were. "Yes. I don't know if that's coincidence, Hart. I can't help but think…"

Your cousin begins to vigorously shake her head at you as if to disagree with something you haven't said out loud yet. 

"Don't do that to yourself, Y/N. I know you like him a lot, but now is not the time to entertain real life feelings for someone like him.”

You let out an emotionless chuckle and nod. "Yeah, you're probably right. I'm sorry."

"Hey now," Hart reaches out for your hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. "Don't apologize. As your cousin, I just want to keep things real. I know anything's possible, I just don't want you pining over someone who might not even remember your face."

The following morning, you feel comfortable enough within the community where Hart’s place was that you decided to go for a morning jog.

“Oh yeah, I’m sure,” you tell her confidently. “I saw a trail somewhere where a few people go to, the one close to that bed and breakfast down on 4th? I wanna try it. I have been itching for a run since last week.”

“Oh well,” Hart sighs but hands you a water bottle. “Take care, alright? Call me for anything, alright?”

You nod and you start a slow jog as you step out of the house. As soon as your bluetooth earbuds are comfortably plugged in your ear, you increase your speed to get to the trail before most people. The morning sun was just starting to peek out from the horizon and you smiled as the colors around seemed to blend into calming shades of brown, green and tangerine. You could get used to this, you thought to yourself as the bed and breakfast came into view and then the trail beside it. You sprinted out towards the last few meters and soon enough, you were thrust into a rich foliage and surrounded by trees. The morning breeze blew past and you inhaled the rich fragrance of the greens around you and traces of the pancakes that must be cooking from the B&B.

You were able to circle the trail within half an hour, stopping just as the sun was halfway across the sky. Everything was painted in various shades of orange and you just had to stop and sit on the grass to be able to fully appreciate this brand new morning you have been blessed with.

Your thoughts eventually led you back to your SDCC experience last week. Sebastian literally sweeping you off your feet, you could sometimes still hear his voice as he whispered in your ear and it made you shudder. You didn’t want to wash the clothes you wore that day as you didn’t want his scent on you to be gone. You closed your eyes as you laid down on the smooth and soft grass and let out a soft, sad sigh that your moment with him had flashed by so quickly just like a snap of the finger.

As dangerous as it may be, you were beginning to regret not to have gone to the meet and greet to see him. A sea of ‘what ifs’ began swirling inside your head, despite all the bells of warning you yourself set going off.

You got up and shook your thoughts away, reminding yourself that your reality exists in a world far different than his. A celebrity taking interest in a fan? You already know that was never gonna happen. Sure, that Edith girl from GQ having an insane night with Chris Evans years ago seemed too good to be true and it was, there wasn’t any follow through from Chris and it was followed by him dating a string of actresses instead.

Who the fuck were you fooling for even crossing that realm of impossibility anyway?

You were fishing for your coin purse in one of your pockets when you collided on someone’s sturdy chest, sending you falling to your haunches on the ground. You were thankful that you were still in the grassy part of the trail, the earth absorbing most of the impact of your fall. You tried pushing yourself up when a hand comes up in your line of sight. You unhesitatingly take it, keeping your eyes trained on the ground as you let yourself be helped up. It takes you a few more seconds as you straighten up before looking at the person you bumped into.

Blue grey eyes, sharpest jawline with a fine dusting of day old stubble, and a smile that was brighter and clearer than the sun illuminating his face in the background, a soft yet audible gasp of surprise passes out of your mouth.

“Hi again,” Sebastian Stan says to you in that warm like early morning voice of his while keeping a firm grip on your hand.

“Hello,” you respond, and you surprise yourself at how steady your voice sounded. Inside though, your chest is pounding like ten drumlines and your brain slowly turning to mush. Your eyes lock onto him and you can see the smallest hint of nerves there as well.

“A-are you okay? And, um, I didn’t get your name,” Sebastian blurts out softly. “May I ask for it?”

His politeness surprises you and you couldn’t help but be enamored more by this man. You gently wiggle your hands from his, step back and extend it to him as you introduced yourself properly.

“Yes, you may,” you say with a smile. “I’m Y/N. It’s so nice to see you again, Sebastian.”

Sebastian takes your proffered hand and shakes it firmly twice before letting go. “You have no idea how amazing it is to see you again, Y/N.”

You both walk back to exit the trail up until the entrance to the B&B, making small talk as you did so. He had told you that he was in this part of Chicago for an audition and you told him you flew here to stay with your cousin for the duration of your vacation.

He suddenly stops just as you both were approaching the main entrance.

“I’m sorry,” he says abruptly as he turns to his side to face you. You look at him with a curious smile as he works up the courage to ask you something. “I did not expect to be bothered as I had been when you didn’t show up to the meet and greet last week. Why didn’t you?”

Your chest clenched a little at how confused he sounded. Seeing as you only had a few days left before you flew back home, you opted with the truth.

“Sebastian, I--” you began, huffing out a long, drawn out breath before you continued. “I didn’t think you meant it. If I’m being honest, I didn’t know why you asked me that when you probably wouldn't even remember my name after. And you actually didn’t.”

His face fell and you could see the disappointment in his eyes. You couldn’t think how to ease this out for him so you followed your instincts instead and touched his arm, giving it a light squeeze.

“Hey, it’s alright. It’s not like it meant anything anyway, right?”

The disappointment that held his expression changed into something a little bit more intense but it flitted so quickly, you didn’t have time to decipher what it was.

“Y-You’re right. I uh...I do say stupid shit sometimes and that was one of them, I’m sorry,” he mumbles before looking away then back at you. “Hey, do you wanna grab breakfast?”

You give him a shy grin and nod. “I’m starving.”

The somber mood your morning started with took a much lighter tone when you both sat at a secluded part of the B&B to eat. More stories were exchanged and you found yourself getting more comfortable with the man seated in front of you. Sure, a part of you still held your guard up that this might possibly just another facet of his carefully crafted public persona to ensure that only good things would be said about him if in the event you find yourself asked about him.

He was finishing an anecdote about one of his One Minute Men videos when he stopped and looked at you curiously.

“You don’t believe me, do you?” he asks with a chuckle. “I mean, I wouldn’t believe me too, but yes, Joe and Will were _that_ stupid to jump in the lake, in suits when the water was near freezing.” You don't say anything for about a full minute and he notices this as he gives you a half confused, half expectant look.

“I’m sorry, this all seems so surreal,” you gesture at the both of you. “I just-I guess-I guess--fuck, I don’t even know what to think, you know?”

Understanding dawns on his face after a few moments of silence. He hesitatingly reaches for your hand across the table, just stopping when the tips of his fingers were mere millimetres from yours. They curl back but you stretch your fingers and push your hand forward. He understands this and finally takes hold of your hand in his. Warmth passes through you at the feel of his big, calloused palm and fingers enveloping yours.

“Trust me?” he asks hopefully and you alternate between looking at your joined hands and his face before you nodded. He slaps a hundred dollar bill on the table before tugging you up and taking a more discreet path towards his room.

When he opens the door, you are met with the unexpected sight of a medium sized room. On one side where the bed was, you could see a small suitcase half closed, clothes spilling out on the edges. A chair sat by the dresser and a jacket was haphazardly thrown at the back of it. A few cosmetic products lined the dresser and a few pieces of balled up cotton surrounded it.

Sebastian pulls you inside, letting you go in first before closing the door behind him. You go further inside the room and on the other side you see the en suite left open, a towel hanging by the door knob. You look back to the bed and finally notice it wasn’t made at all. Like he just got up, got dressed and walked out the door.

You turn your back to look at him and he regards you with an insecure expression in his face. In all the years you’ve been following him, you have never seen him so unsure of himself like he is now. 

“Seb-what-what is this? Why am I here?” you blurt out, now thoroughly perplexed. He comes up to you, gently grabs you by your shoulders and turns you around to see the mess that is his hotel room.

“This is--this is me, Y/N. I’m messy, probably like half of the men in this world are. I don’t have a clue why I need more than just soap and water to keep my face clean but I try and follow what the dermatologist tells me. I know how to pack my clothes but I’m terrible at unpacking them. I’d eat pizza five times in a week, but Don would probably kill me and then get me back on the Winter Soldier program.”

You giggle at the last part, having tried the Winter Soldier program yourself for about a month and giving up when you realized it was becoming too unrealistic for you to follow.

“Yeah, that program’s a bitch,” you say amusingly under your breath. He then comes up in front of you and looks at you hopefully.

"Even I myself can't really explain what--what these thoughts are going in my head. The last time I showed interest in someone…well, that didn't--it didn't go so well and I just decided to stop even trying to date. But I saw you at the con and I just--something clicked and…"

By the time he stopped talking, your breaths have been going a mile a minute and if you didn't do anything you might just drop to the floor.

He sees this and grabs your hand to let you sit on the edge of the bed beside him. The warmth came back to you, helping you relax even just a little as your brain tries to process what is going on. 

"Sorry," you breathe out. "I don't-I haven't been in this situation before. I don't know what to say." You feel the bed move beside you and when you look at him, he's sitting up, facing you.

"Y/N, this may be too forward but…can I-can I kiss you?"

You could feel both a hot and cold sensation wash over you as soon as he asked. You tried searching his eyes for any hint that he was just messing with you but there was none. It even seemed the shade of his peepers darkened a little as his own shoulders heaved with nerves while he waited for you to respond.

"Yes."

Sebastian's eyes widen and he gasps an 'oh my god' before eliminating the gap between the two of you to press his lips over yours. Your eyes immediately close as you try to push your lips onto his. You don't have much experience in this area so you let him lead you. You gasp when he parts his lips slightly but you follow suit, grabbing his arm while his hand gently cupped your neck as the kiss progressed. You tilt your upper body so that you were parallel with him. You whimper a little when he slips his tongue inside your mouth, forcing you to completely open up to him. He tasted like maple syrup and coffee, with a little hint of mint and as his mouth and tongue moved in time with yours, you realized you may never get enough of him kissing you.

When he pulled away, you both were panting messes. You didn't even realize he had laid you down on the bed until you opened your eyes and saw him looking at you in awe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Subscribe to get notifications when I update! I usually do every 200 hits or so.
> 
> I'd love to hear what you think as well, feel free to post it in the comments. Thank you!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I still have a few advanced chapters in but I haven't added to it much...work has been crazy since I got back about a month ago and seems to have no signs of slowing down. I do take advantage of momentary bursts of inspiration and write down whatever comes up. The good thing about advanced chapters is that I'm still able to edit.
> 
> I hope you don't tire of me, you lovely people! Thanks again for tuning in to this! Enjoy this one.

"You're so soft," he says softly as he continues to hover over you, his hand trailing across your stomach, stopping at your side and giving it a gentle squeeze. Your breath hitches. You've never been complimented this way before, let alone your weight be the root of the compliment. 

Your brows furrow at the thought and Sebastian gets confused. "Don't sugarcoat it. I'm  _ fat _ , no two ways about it," you spat somewhat irritably. 

He stays silent for a bit but doesn't bite at your seemingly self deprecating comment. Instead, he dips down for another languid kiss, sending your entire body buzzing with invisible electricity.

"Why me?" you ask after he pulls away again to catch his breath. 

"Why not you?" he asks back as he lightly flicks a lock of hair off your cheek. Your brows furrow again and despite his proximity to you that made your knees weak, you push him a little so you can sit and stand up to move away from him.

Sebastian took a deep breath as he watched you create distance from him. He was a little confused. Every time he kissed you he could feel you melting under your hold but when he separates from you, you tense up immediately.

"Y/N…what's wrong? Am I moving too fast? Is this too much?" his voice was almost pleading. He kept his gaze trained on you as you struggled with whether to leave or stay.

You take a huge breath before you speak. "Yes, yes this is too much! This isn't supposed to happen to someone like me! You're… _ you _ and I'm a goddamn nobody!" 

Sebastian's forehead creased. "What do you mean?" 

It's at this juncture he realizes he can't deny that he really likes you. It's also obvious that you feel the same way but can't bring it to admit to him.

"Seb…you can have any woman in the world, what the fuck am I doing here?" you ask him once again, this time in a much calmer tone.

Sebastian stands from off the bed and walks towards where you're standing and holds you by your waist. He presses his forehead against yours and lets out a shaky breath. You close your eyes and savor the feel of him close to you despite the raging battle of your emotions inside you. 

"Don't fight this,  _ please _ . I really,  _ really _ fucking like you and I know you like me too. Can we just…shit…can we just enjoy this while we're both here? Please?"

You don't say anything as the silence hangs in the air, punctuated only by your breaths.

"You're so tense…" Sebastian whispers worriedly. You open your eyes and see him staring at you. His hands move up to your shoulders gently massaging them before cupping the back of your neck.

"I'm sorry," you say as you grip his wrists. "I don't mean to be so difficult. One day at a time, okay?" 

"That's all I could ever ask for, sweetheart."

"Are you sure you don't want me to walk you home?" Sebastian asks you for the nth time. You both were standing outside his room, your fingers intertwined with his. He pulls you close again for another breathtaking kiss. You could feel him pressing into you further and you felt like he would never let you go.

"I'm going to be fine," you struggled to say in between kisses. You momentarily lay your hands over his chest and give him a small glare to which he responds with a smirk that you ignore. "How long will you be here in Chicago?" 

"Two more days," he says. "I have another meeting later today and tomorrow. Can I see you afterwards? If your cousin doesn't have anything planned for you of course, I wouldn't want to intrude."

You smirk at him a bit but nod anyways. "I think that can be arranged. Of course you dumdum, you can!" You giggle at him before he tugs you close once more. 

You tiptoe to give him one last peck. You were already by the elevator and was about to push the call button when a pair of steady hands and strong arms turned you around and pushed you to the wall. You didn't have time to react as Sebastian crashed his lips on yours, causing you to whimper in both surprise and pleasure. This kiss was nothing compared to the make out session you had earlier, this was like him setting every nerve ending of your body on fire. It was needy and bordering on desperate as he held onto you tightly while pressing you harder against the wall.

"Jesus fucking Christ," he whispers furiously after you separate. "Y-You better go take the stairs, otherwise I'll carry you back to my room and have my wicked way with you, sweetheart."

The way his eyes had darkened to pools of black made you shudder and realize he wasn't kidding. You didn't know how to react and followed his order instead, taking the stairs to go down instead.

You didn't realize you were holding your breath until you were out of the B&B and into the cool, sunny morning outdoors. You touched your fingers on your lips, still in disbelief that the last few hours that passed really happened. 

"Oh hey," Hart greets you as you slipped inside through the back door. "Thought you got mauled out there or something. Good run?" 

"Uh-huh," you answered nonchalantly as you toed off your shoes and socks. "Really good," you muttered to yourself with a smile as you bent down to pick them up. You tell your cousin you were gonna take a shower on your way back up to your room. You were already thinking of telling Sebastian you just got in but a text notification beats you to it. 

_ 1 New Message _

_ You home, sweetheart? Miss you already :( - seb _

_ You _

_ Yes, I just got in. I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I miss you already too.  _

_ (unknown number) _

_ I can't believe I'm gonna say this >> curious…? _

_ You _

_ I'm still *somehow* trying to convince myself this morning really happened, y'know what I mean?  _

_ (unknown number) _

_ It did. Better believe it, sweetheart.  _ ❤️💋

You laughed at the emojis he used before placing the phone facedown and preparing for your shower.

"Looks like someone had a good morning," Kayla muses out loud as she sorts out the mess that are Sebastian's things. It took him a few minutes to answer the door when she arrived and when he finally did, his earphones were plugged and he was humming along to whatever song it was playing on his phone. 

He was still humming when he stepped out of the shower. In the few years that she had been working for Sebastian, she had gotten to know him pretty well, but this, this seemingly giddy, teenager like side of her boss was something she hadn't seen before. 

"Okay," Kayla murmurs before coming up to Sebastian and tugs the earphones off of him. "Who are you and where is my boss?" she demands sternly. 

Sebastian turns around just as he was slipping on a shirt and looks at his assistant with an innocently curious grin. "Excuse me? Rude." 

Right after you dashed to the stairs, Sebastian leaned back beside the elevator, closed his eyes and sighed heavily before a grin slowly curled his lips up. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so excited about meeting someone new. His emotions were a bit scattered when he woke up earlier, unsure of what to make of all of it after seeing you yesterday. It was a sea he was a little scared to dive into, but when his lips touched yours, he allowed himself the jump and despite the uncertainty of being in open waters, he couldn't be more sure now of how he felt about you.

"Keep it simple, Seb," he mumbled to himself. _ Like she said, one day at a time. _

"OH. MY. FUCKING. HELL." Kayla enunciated each word as overdramatically as she could. "You fucking saw her, didn't you?"

Sebastian scoffed but it sounded more like a giggle instead. "I don't know what you're talking about, K." He walked towards his suitcase and rummaged inside it to find something to wear for his 2nd meeting with Phillip and the production team later. 

"Roxie asked me about a woman she caught you looking at yesterday at the restaurant--dark shoulder length hair, lazy brown eyes, bright smile and I had to pretend I didn’t know who she was talking about," Kayla responds. With his back to her, Sebastian fought a grin but nevertheless kept his mouth shut.

"Fine," the hapless assistant speaks again after a full minute of her boss's non response. "Be that way. I at least hope you didn't leave the poor woman clueless and you admitted to yourself you are attracted to her."

After about half an hour more, Kayla finally takes her leave, promising to meet him after lunch at the production meeting at the same coffee shop where the auditions were the previous day. She shoots him a warning glare before opening the door. 

"Don't be an ass and don't break her heart." 

"Never even thought about it, K," he says to himself as soon as she was out the door.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How is everyone doing? I hope y'all are still staying safe by washing your hands, wearing masks when going out and practicing social distancing.
> 
> I can only hope that my story provides you a respite and momentary escape from everything that's going on right now.

Hart was unexpectedly called to come to her church's office later that afternoon, offering a rain check on your plans to drive up to Illinois for, in her own words, her regularly scheduled 'retail therapy' appointment. The boys were currently spending time with their father, leaving you alone in the house with nothing to do.

After a video call with Geri, you shoot your cousin a text to ask if you could hang out at the coffee shop to pass the time. She calls you in response to give you instructions on how to lock up and tell you what time she'd be coming home so that you can time your own return. 

After about an hour's nap, you decided to leave at about half past two. Just as you were opening the door to get out, your phone vibrates in your purse.

Your heart jumps up at your throat upon seeing your phone screen display Sebastian’s goofy face. You tap on the green button and put the phone in your ear. Your jaw aches at how big your smile was upon seeing him.

"Hey you," he says as a greeting.

"Hi," you respond shyly. "Why'd you call?" 

He fumbles with his words as he responds to you. "Uh, nothing…I just, um, I wanted to hear your voice before heading off to that meeting I told you about this morning." 

Your neck warms up and you literally could feel it rising up to envelop your face in a mad blush. "You--I...," you respond meekly. He laughs softly on the other end.

"I can't wait to see you again, Y/N. Will you be free tonight?"

"Y-yeah. What did you have in mind?" 

You hash out plans for dinner and a movie after he gets off from his meeting, agreeing to message each other for updates. You both were hesitant to say goodbye until his assistant came knocking on his door.

You couldn't help but squeal in excitement that you were seeing Sebastian again later.

The barista who gave you a free drink yesterday was laughing at you after you got in as she saw you stop and search for any announcement posted at the door to make sure you weren't barging in on anything again. 

"You're hilarious," she says as you approach. You give her a cheeky grin as you approach her. 

"Wouldn't want to cause a ruckus, you know? How are you?" 

You and her made small talk in between placing your orders before you finally got to a somewhat obscure spot in the corner by the window. You decide on trying to finish Wuthering Heights first before working on your manuscript, anxious to see if Heathcliff and Catherine's story couldn't get any more tragic than what you've read. 

After your order was delivered, you were soon lost again in the book, completely oblivious to your surroundings. It's what you absolutely love about reading and writing. You could be anywhere and anyone you want to be anytime of your choosing. Everything else didn't matter. It's an escape from your troubles and your number one go-to if you don't feel like dealing with life in general.

You've been reading for a solid hour already when someone tapped your shoulder, causing you to drop your book with a gasp of surprise. When you look up, a familiar, friendly face is smiling at you. 

"Kayla, right? Oh my, hi-hi, how are you?" you stand up and she reaches out for a hug. "What are you doing here?" 

"I uh, I may have left out a little detail when we met last week," she says hesitantly. "I'm…I'm Sebastian Stan's personal assistant."

You stood there, jaw dropping as Kayla told you who she was. That could only mean…

"...and he wants to see you, now, if you could. I'm sorry if he can't come out, his agent and publicist is here and they know about you and…"

"It-It's okay, just, uh, lead the way, I guess?" 

His people already know about you? A lump got lodged in your throat as you thought of the implications of…shit, it's not even a full day, of course you don't know what you are to Sebastian. Would you ask him about it? Is it way too soon to define it now?

Your zooming thoughts come to a halt when you see him again, a giddy smile lighting up his face as soon as he sees you. You don't notice you were left alone with him until he's enveloped you in a bear hug that nearly knocked you down. You let out a near breathless giggle as you wrap your arms around him and breathe him in.

"You didn't tell me you were gonna be here," Sebastian says to you as he led you to sit. 

"You didn't ask me where I was going."

You both laugh heartily before he stops and pulls you close to him again to brush his lips on yours. You both smile at the contact before you close your eyes and let yourself get lost in his kiss. The moment ends too quickly when a stern clearing of someone's throat echoes in the room. 

Sebastian takes his time to pull away from you anyway before addressing whoever it was that interrupted you both. 

"Hey Roxie," he says casually. "Are they here already?" 

You turn around and see a tall, blonde woman who seems to be trying hard not to glare at you and failing miserably.

"Yes," Roxie says sternly. "You done here?" 

"Jeez, what's with the attitude?" Sebastian asks with a slight frown. She scoffs before asking him again to be with them in five minutes and leaves the two of you again. 

You felt like you were shrinking by the way you got the silent treatment from Sebastian's agent. You squeeze his hand and turn to face him. 

"So um, I'll see you later?" you ask in a small voice. 

"Yeah, of course!" he says enthusiastically as if the encounter with his agent didn't happen. He leans forward to kiss you again. Tugging your hand, you both come out of the room. You notice him looking around before kissing you again.

"Later, Y/N."

"Later, Seb." 

Sebastian's meeting finishes a couple of hours after, him feeling very good about bringing another indie project to life. His giddy mood was brought down to a crashing halt when his publicist, Max pulled him to the side right after everybody had left. 

"What's up buddy?" he asks.

Max sighs before beckoning Sebastian to sit down. "Roxie told me about the new girl you met."

"And?"

"I don't think it's a good idea, Seb."

"What isn't a good idea, Max?" Sebastian already knows what he's talking about and is not liking the idea that he hasn't even gotten to know you well enough that people around him are already trying to dissuade him about you. 

"Come on, Seb, are you sure about this? You will have a lot going for you in the upcoming months, you sure you could handle dating someone on top of all your shit?" 

"Jesus Max, I just met her and you're already acting as if she's going to fucking ruin me. I don't--" 

"That's the point man! You can stop this nonsense before-before--" Max lets out a slow, exasperated sigh. "I just don't want the E incident and the SoHo photos happening again."

Sebastian scoffs. "Yeah right, you didn't even lift a finger when those got out so what's the point now? Wait, you know what? Don't answer that, I think I really like this girl and if it goes to shit, I'll deal with it."

"Seb…don't do this," Max pleads but Sebastian was already out the door to find you. He stops momentarily in the restroom, locking himself alone to recompose himself. He runs a hand over his head in front of the sink and looks at himself in the mirror, letting out a calming breath.

He really wanted to understand where Max was coming from but he just met you, it would be unfair if judgment will be passed when it hasn't even been a full day you'd met. 

He found you still in the same corner Kayla found you earlier, this time hunched over. He stopped for a moment to just take you in.

Your brows were furrowed as your fingers moved rapidly as you wrote, pausing every few seconds to rest. Longer pauses he noticed, you'd peek at your phone to check the time or the dictionary as you'd mumble words that he presumed you were trying to define. You'd bite your pinky finger and raise an eyebrow when you hit a snag but you'd grin and giggle quietly when an idea pops up in your head again.

You were definitely different from all the women he'd dated in the past. You weren't a size four, not even an eight, but he didn't mind. For the first time in his life, he was eager to find out more about what you think about things, not if you'd be a great lay in bed. That first conversation over breakfast made him so curious, and he couldn't wait to get to talk to you again. 

"Mind if I join you?" Sebastian asks, standing behind the chair across from you. When you looked up, he was thrown off by the smile you gave him, making him grip the back just a little bit tightly.

No one should be allowed to look that beautiful when they smile.

"Not at all," you respond. It would be so easy to just lean over to just brush his lips on yours, but he didn't want to risk it. He settles for reaching out for your hand instead for a light squeeze, hoping it conveys enough how happy he was to see you again. "Meeting done?" you ask.

"Yeah, we were able to hash out a lot of stuff today, I'm gonna be free tomorrow," Sebastian tells you with a wink. During the meeting, he tried his best to suppress his excitement when Cassidy, the production manager told him they were happy with the casting call as well as finalizing the location scouting within a day which meant there was no need for them to meet the next day.

"Is that so?" you lay your pen on the table and gave him a quizzical look.

"It is so," he responds. "I was hoping we could spend the day. Together," he adds the last word just to make sure he's clear with what he wanted.

You blinked at him, not sure if you were hearing him correctly. An entire day with you? 

"What is it?" he asks, a bit of worry lacing his voice.

"Really?" you finally blurt out. He chuckles and takes your hand again.

"Of course. I don't come back home until Saturday and I couldn't think of a better way to pass the day."

"Stop apologizing, really. I'm okay with staying in. I'm sort of relieved, I guess?" 

After a few more minutes in the coffee shop, Sebastian had asked if you both could just stay in his room for that pizza and movie he asked of you that morning. He wanted to be careful and take precaution as he doesn't want to risk you being photographed with him yet. He left first and then you followed him after 15 minutes. When you finally arrived, you blurted out an apology.

"Why is that?"

"I'm still trying to wrap my head around…this," you gesture between you and him. He nods his head in understanding, glad that you both were on the same page.

Sebastian closes the gap between you two, wrapping his arms around you as soon as he was able to reach you. You rest your head on his chest, feeling the gentle thump-thump-thump of his heartbeat.

"I know," he says over your head. "Whatever this is, I want to protect it. I want to protect  _ you _ . And besides," he tilts your chin up so he can look at you. "I want to be able to do this as much as I can."

He gently pulls your face to him so he could graze his lips over yours. It's barely a kiss, but the way it sends him reeling takes him by surprise. He closes his eyes as you respond to him by taking tiny nips of his lower lip.

He was breathing heavily when you both pulled away. You weren't any better when he opened his eyes, seeing your cheeks as pink as a flower. 

"I really,  _ really  _ like doing that," he says to you, a dopey grin on his face as he spoke.

"Me too," you whisper.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow, can't believe I'm 9 chapters into another multi-chapter story! And here I thought I'd relegate myself to just one shots. Hey, if you're still reading, know that I really, REALLY appreciate you staying with me.
> 
> A lot has gone on in Sebastian's fandom over the last few weeks and I was fully expecting the readership to slow a little bit more. And it did, to be honest, but I really don't mind. If people feel the need to berate and abandon Sebastian for his life choices, so be it. As far as I'm concerned, he's a grown man, capable of making mistakes and bad choices. It's not up to me to or any one of us who only know him from his works and interviews to call him out. We're strangers to him and he to us.
> 
> Anyway, sorry I got a little preachy there, on to the story! As always, if you're new to this, appreciate your kudos and comments and as for those who've been here since the start, you know you can drop your feedback anytime! Love love!

"Okay, so my turn," you shift your seating position so that you were Indian style facing Sebastian. The movie that was originally planned was just playing quietly in the background and was currently the only light illuminating the room.

Sebastian looked at you expectantly for your next question.

"Who were you ten years ago? Who are you now?" 

He leans back slightly and quirks an eyebrow. "Those are two questions! How can I answer that in a minute?" 

You giggle but don't say anything and take a bite of your pizza instead. You take a pull of your beer and pick your phone to set the timer.

"Get creative then, handsome. Tick tock…" you respond in a sing-song voice, and wait for him to answer your question. 

Sebastian takes a deep breath and lets it out in a slow exhale. Who was he a decade a go? And who's he now?  _ Man, she isn't pulling any punches _ , he thought.

"A decade ago, I used to question a lot of things," he begins. "A bad audition, a good one, and everything else, I always have to pick on something or someone and ask. I didn't know then that I was causing myself a lot of stress and expelling unnecessary negative energy."

He pauses for a bit, suddenly remembering one of the most toxic relationships he'd ever been in. That one that made him close off. Having been single for the last few years, he hoped he wasn't that person anymore.

"Seb?" your voice grounds him back and he clears his throat just as the timer goes off. You shut it off and return your gaze at him, waiting for his answer to the 2nd half of your question. 

"Who I am now…I guess you could say, I'm someone who has a better understanding of the world. The last ten years, I tell you, they were tough. It's challenging to try and be someone to somebody while trying to shift your perspective, you know? I just wanted to be me, to live my own life and be happy with it. I think that's why I haven't entertained relationships, I wanted to really be content and happy and I think-I really think I am at that point now."

He averts his eyes from you for a few seconds, hoping he didn't scare you off with how he talked about his past and his struggles.

"You do look happy," you mention thoughtfully. He looks up at you and smiles bashfully at you.

"I am, Y/N. I really am," Sebastian responds wistfully. "I told you I wouldn't be able to answer that in a minute." 

You scoff good naturedly and poke out your tongue at him. You fiddle with the hem of your shirt before you speak again. 

"I like listening to you talk about things," you say timidly. "You always seem to wear your heart out on your sleeve. Glad to see you still do."

You both continue on your Q&A game long after the movie had ended, the pizza box bare and the beer bottles emptied. You were buzzed but not drunk yet you could feel your cheeks were warm. Sebastian seemed no less the same as you were.

It had to have been past 1am when your yawns became more frequent. This doesn't get past Sebastian who starts cleaning up, prompting you to get off the bed as well and begin gathering your shoes by the bed. Sebastian notices and walks up to you just as you stumble to the carpeted floor with a soft thud. 

"Where do you think you're going?" he asks, chuckling. "You aren't thinking of going home, are ya?" 

"Um, I am? Hart would be looking for me--uh, my cousin, Hart," you say in a rather sleepy drawl. He crouches down and shoves your shoes under the bed before pulling you up with him. You groan softly and bump your forehead on his chest, making him laugh. Your sleepiness has caught on you and he prods it even more by running smooth, lazy lines over your back. 

"Call her in the morning, you're staying here."

And that is how Sebastian woke up hours later with her pressed onto his side. He stirs a little and when he does open his eyes slowly, his vision is met with her dark hair to the side, her face bare to him. He smiles as he sees her mouth slightly open, puffs of breath coming out in between light snores which he found adorable. Her hand rests over the right side of his chest and he immediately reaches for it for him to hold. He sighs slowly so as not to wake her up and closes his eyes again with a smile.

Little did he know she was already awake and thinking how this was easily the longest dream she's had.

Sebastian lets the both of them sleep for a few more hours until phone buzzes on the bedside table. He tries to ignore it but whoever who was calling would not give up. She were still curled up to his side and he felt too damn comfortable for him to let go.

"Fuck," he breathes out softly, but the annoyance evident still. He reluctantly lets her hand go and reaches back for the phone to answer it, not bothering to check the caller ID.

"What?!" he whisper yells.

"Oops," Kayla's voice pipes up on the other end. "You still in bed?"

"...in an hour, Kayla, goodbye," Sebastian says and puts the phone back on the bedside. "Hey," he says softly as he turns to face you.

You pull up the comforter up to half of your face upon realizing you may have morning breath but Sebastian grabs your hand to stop you. He grins at you before kissing your forehead.

"Sleep okay?" he asks. His smile widens when you nod. "Better than I have in a while, to be honest," you tell him honestly.

"It is a good morning then," Sebastian says confidently before getting up and pulling you up with him. When he was standing and you were up kneeling on the bed, he dips his head down to give you a chaste peck on the lips. "Good morning indeed," you murmur with a smile against his mouth.

  
  


"YOU WHAT?! I was so goddamn worried, I barely slept!" 

You cower a bit at the harshness of Hart's voice and you couldn't blame her.

"I'm sorry," you say, your voice small. You felt so bad for forgetting to call her to let her know of your plans. "I didn't mean to worry you."

Hart sighs heavily as she calms herself down. "So…you  _ and  _ the movie star huh?"

You try to play down your cousin's comment with a scoff but her reaction tells you she isn't buying your bullshit. "I'm leaving next week, Hartley," you state matter of factly. "We're just going to enjoy each other's company while we're in one place at the same time. That's it."

"Okay then," she says before jumping off the barstool. "Just…be cool alright? You know I just don't want you getting hurt." She takes her leave but not before giving your hand a light squeeze.

You thank her and sighed when she was out of earshot. "I'm gonna be fine," you told yourself and you desperately prayed you will be because at the rate your feelings are speeding up, it felt like you were going to crash right away.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya guys! Sorry this took too long to get updated...I am still writing this and this will continue! :) As you may know (or not), I updated every 200 hits and I noticed that activity has been slow as of late. I haven't been to any social media except Instagram so I don't really have that good of a grasp as to people's interest in Sebastian.
> 
> In any case, I will still update every 200 until the end of this story. If you've been here from the start and are still here, I can't thank you enough for reading! I hope you won't get tired of me. :D
> 
> As always, if you liked this or any part of the story, let me know in the comments below! Share, if you could! Much Love!

Sebastian took a leap and had asked you to come see him off at the airport. Your jeans were damp with the way your hands are clamming up so hard. He notices this and takes both your arms, wrapping them around his torso instead.

"Hold on to me," he says firmly. You look up to him and the determination in his eyes left you no other choice.

You spent the last couple of days cooped up in Sebastian's B&B room, doing nothing and everything at the same time. Well, everything  _ but _ . He was a complete gentleman, never going past first base. When you told him you haven't even kissed anyone before him, his chest swelled with pride and yours too as he continued taking your breath away with each caress of his lips over yours.

It had become sort of a silent agreement between you as well not to talk about the future and define what it was that you have. Despite the inevitable, Sebastian heeded your request to take it a day at a time, getting to know you even more. He had responded in earnest as well, not hesitating even in the slightest bit to share even the ugliest parts of himself that he was scared would turn even the most understanding and patient person off. But that wasn't you. Your experiences as a crisis counselor had opened your mind and heart to different perspectives.

Sebastian found your emotional vulnerability and fortitude downright stunning. Though he understood through your life experiences you weren't perfect or ideal, he was amazed by the fact that you've allowed yourself to be weak to come back from adversity stronger.

It was only three days spent with each other, but by the time you both got to the airport to see him off, it seemed like you've spent years together.

You were reluctant to let him go when you arrived at the drop off area at O'Hare. Tears fought to escape but you held them off.

"I'm gonna fucking miss you," Sebastian says in a coarse whisper after nodding off to grab his suitcase, leaving you alone in the backseat. "You take care of yourself, alright?" 

He grabs your hand and presses his lips over your knuckles, lingering for a few more moments before tugging you out of the car. You freeze in your seat, realizing he was going to be seen with you in public. 

"What is it?" he asks when he sees you plastered to your seat.

"Seb, I…," you say weakly then directing your eyes outside. He frowns in confusion for a bit before finally understanding what you mean. He shakes his head before responding. 

"You trust me?"

You give him a vigorous nod. He mouths an 'okay' and he finally gets out of the rental with you in tow. A sigh of relief escapes you that you manage to get to the departures area unrecognized. He manages to complete checking in, the airport staff not making any fuss over him.

When he was done, he takes you to an obscure area to say goodbye. His grip on your hand tightens before pulling you into an even tighter embrace. 

"I'll miss you too," you tell him shakingly as you held on to him. "Thank you for everything."

Sebastian momentarily breaks off but keeps you close. His eyes look at you searchingly before cupping your cheeks in his hands. The air around you becomes charged with so much emotion that's left you both speechless. Despite the risk of being photographed, Sebastian throws all caution to the wind, pulling your face close to his and pouring himself in a kiss that was equal parts bittersweet and passionate. Time seemed to stop and all that were moving were your hands gripping his sides and his lips dancing against yours in perfect rhythm.

"Christ, I thought I'd already talked myself into making this easier," he says almost in a growl after you both decided breathing was also still necessary. You smile at him helplessly in agreement. 

The final call for his flight finally sounds. He envelops you once more in a hug, breathing in your scent one last time before falling in line with the other passengers. You slink further in the corner where he left you, mouthing 'goodbye' and 'take care' to him before he disappeared from your sight. 

**_enews_ ** _ We don't mind getting warmed up by this Winter Soldier. Sebastian Stan was seen in a hot smooch sesh with a mystery woman in Chicago just this Saturday. Check the link in our bio for everything we know about Sexy Seabass' new flame (?) _

Kayla blinked a few times to make sure what she just read was correct. She clicked on the link and her jaw dropped at the article and accompanying pictures. It was indeed her boss engaged in what looked to be a heated kiss with a woman who wasn't visible based on the angle the photo was taken.

The article itself was more speculation than fact but the man in the picture was undeniably Sebastian. She put the phone face down and paced listlessly in her apartment for a few minutes. She bit her lower lip in worry as she knew Leslie at the very least would get ahold of the information anytime  _ very _ soon.

Checking her watch, she winced that she isn't due to drop by Sebastian's condo in another hour. In any case, he still probably was asleep, seeing as it wasn't even 10 in the morning.

With a wince and a few choice colorful words, she grabbed her coat and went out the door, not caring if Sebastian curses her out when she knocks on his door.

"Jesus, Kayla," Sebastian groaned, still half asleep as he let her in. "The fuck is going on?" He knew something must be up by the way her shoulders were slightly hunched as she slid past him. Her face was creased with worry as soon as he locked the door and when she turned around to face him.

"Jeez, just get to it already," Sebastian told her, slightly annoyed.

"Oh god you haven't checked your phone," she says while pulling out her phone, pulling up the Instagram post and showing it to him. Sebastian's face crumples as he recognizes himself kissing you at the airport.

"Oh shit."

"That's it? That's all you're gonna say?!"

Leslie was livid as a rock as she paced in front of her client. Sebastian just sat there, with Max beside him also emanating anger at him and the situation his client put themselves in. 

"Why are you so mad? We just don't say anything, like what we've done before," Sebastian says nonchalantly, looking between his publicist and manager.

"Seb this is…" Max tries to say but Sebastian cuts him off. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me? This better not be a repeat of the E incident."

"She's gone Max, I don't think I'll ever see her again, but I am serious, I just keep my mouth shut and the attention goes away eventually, like it always does."

Max pondered the idea and gave a pointed look at Leslie who nodded her agreement slowly but surely.

"Fine, no statements from you Maximilian and no Instagram posts from you Sebastian," Leslie commands. Sebastian gives her a short nod and was out the door in a flash.

He heaved a sigh as he stepped out on to the streets, wondering if he should contact you and check on you. It hadn't been a week and with the photos coming out, his first thought was what you'd think about it.

Try as he might, the decision not to defend you publicly has left a bitter taste in his mouth. It was a price he'd paid when he spoke up in 2016 for someone else and he's quickly realizing not saying anything at all was far more painful than actually saying something.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Another update is upon us! A favorite makes an appearance and I hope you still haven't tired of me, LOL
> 
> Thank you to everyone who left their comments and to those who gave kudos, y'all know how to make a girl smile!

Life back home was mostly unchanged. The only thing though was that your manuscript had begun taking up more and more of your time, so much so that what little time you have left for your social life slowly diminished.

You didn't know you had become viral again, anonymously this time until after a few weeks after you got home. Having decided to take advantage of your writing streak, you uninstalled your socials on your phone, only putting them back when you realized it had been a full month already that all you were doing were two things -- your normal 8 to 5 job and writing.

As soon as you reinstalled your social media apps, you were bombarded by notifications left and right. Thank God you only had Facebook and Instagram. You momentarily wondered how people kept up with more than those two before diving into the unread messages and unseen notifications.

You dreaded opening Instagram. It had been weeks since your surreal experience with Sebastian in those 3 days in Chicago. You missed him more than what you could admit to yourself. While he wasn’t the ideal man that everyone had made him out to be, you realized you liked getting to know the man himself and that was the Sebastian you longed for.

Your fingers were trembling when you logged in on your Insta, hoping that he had messaged you at least once. You let all the notifications come up, relieved it wasn’t as much. You figured it was because you haven’t posted anything anyway. Tapping on the messages, you felt like a big piece of lead was dropped on your chest upon seeing nothing from Sebastian. You weren’t sure what to think of it but then again, you both didn’t plan on anything else further than the 3 days you spent together since it was your idea to take things “one day at a time”.  _ What a brilliant idea, _ you thought to yourself wryly.

A heavy sigh escapes your lips, but you realize there isn't any use in regretting decisions that were never made. Your heart longed for him, but your ever powerful and nagging brain told you that that ship has already sailed.

It had been four months since your trip to the US and two months since you resigned to fully focus on your screenplay. It wasn’t anywhere touching any best sellers lists, but nonetheless you dreamt of people coming up to you to tell you they liked it.

Geri had, to your pleasant surprise, kept in contact with you, keeping you updated with everything going on with Sebastian as you were unable to keep up with your busy writing schedule. You made it a full time career, writing various content on the side as well to keep the cash flow while working on your book. 

You were on the phone with your latest client, a group of graduating students who wanted their undergraduate thesis edited for grammar. It was graduation season and a few recommendations from your college English professor helped you secure a few manuscripts to look at.

“Okay Brett,” you balanced your phone between your ear and shoulder as you jotted his group’s name on your planner. “Friday next week sound good? A few of your batchmates turned in their work to me earlier than you did so I’m taking care of those first.”

Brett agreed with your suggested time and that was the end of your conversation. Not long after you put down your phone, it chimes again with a notification. You curiously pick it up, wanting to know what your social media apps had in store for you.

It was an Instagram notification that Sebastian had posted. You opened it and you smiled at the selfie he took, it was the back of his head facing the camera, the sunrise to the right. You knew he rarely posts and your smile nearly breaks your face whenever he does so. You look down to read the caption and you swore your heart stopped for a split second.

**_imsebastianstan_** _The scary thing about distance is you don’t know whether they’ll miss you or forget you. -Nicholas Sparks_

You lean back on your seat, suddenly unable to finish the last few pages of the manuscript you were currently editing. It had been three months since you last saw him, and if you weren’t writing or editing, you spent your time thinking about Sebastian. It was getting harder and harder for you not to wonder if he was also still thinking about you too like you were of him. There had been numerous times you wanted to send him a message but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it, as you kept remembering it was you who made the decision not to take things any further than those few days you spent together.

“This is a surprise,” your older sister Lana muses dryly as she sits in front of you. You couldn’t take the thoughts running rampant through your head anymore on your own so you decided to call her and tell her everything so you could get advice. Of all your siblings, you trusted your eldest sister the most because she always seemed to keep a level head on her shoulders and nothing ever seems to faze her.

“What’s going on? Is everything alright hun?”

“Lana...I need to tell you something and I need your help.”

You spilled everything to her all through the next hour or so. You tell her your frustrations, your regret about not letting Sebastian know you wanted to keep in touch with him despite the distance. You tell her that despite the few days, you thought you were falling in love with him for real and that you also thought he felt strongly about you too.

Lana’s face was unreadable after you finished. You wrung your hands on your lap as you looked down and prepared for your sister to tell you how stupid you were being.

She exhaled a bit before speaking. “You have a habit of getting yourself half-ass into a situation. Why can’t you just jump in with everything you got?”

“Lana--”

“No, Y/N. I hate that you’re this brilliant, smart woman but for the love of everything holy, you always let your insecurities get the best of you. It took you long enough to ditch that job and write full time. Here I thought you were starting to get it together but you get yourself in another situation and leave it without making your feelings clear,” Lana spoke in a calm tone, but you can hear the undertones of frustration and annoyance in her voice. 

“I...I swear I want to, Lana, it’s just...too much time has passed and...and…” you trailed off, afraid of saying out loud what you were thinking.

Lana could see you struggling and she took your hand, giving it a light squeeze. “I’d like to think of how ridiculous this situation is but you’re my sister and I know that despite your flaws, you still have it in you to work hard for what you want. If there’s even a point zero zero one chance that he’d respond to you, then you owe it to yourself to try contacting him.”

  
  


“Look who the wind dragged in,” Chris Evans mused good naturedly as soon as his friend came into view. Sebastian smiled and reached out for a hug. He took off his shades and stepped inside the threshold of Chris’ house and dropped his bag on the side. Dodger immediately pounced on to him to which he responded by crouching down and letting the pooch lick his face and jump all over him.

“Okay, bubba, that’s enough!” Chris admonished chuckling. Sebastian wipes his face with the back of his hand before following the dog and master into the living room. He plops down on the sofa with a soft thud and exhale.

“Got a beer?”

Chris comes back with two cans and gives one to Sebastian who opens it and takes a long drag before settling it on the coffee table.

“Truth be told, I was a little surprised you called to let me know you wanted to visit,” Chris began. “Something must be up.”

“Can’t I just want to visit?” Sebastian said before closing his eyes. “Besides, I haven’t seen you in...fuck, I can’t even remember. I was just taking advantage of the fact that we both have free time at the same time.”

“Alright, alright,” Chris patted his shoulder. “You must be tired, you can tell me all about it later. The guest room is ready if you want to take a nap.”

A few hours later and nearly six more cans of beer, Sebastian has finished telling Chris all about the woman he met in San Diego.

“Tell me, am I stupid to think about wanting to date a fan? I don’t know shit what to think anymore, man.”

Chris sighed. “I don’t know bro, to be honest with you. There have been some fans that caught my attention but I haven’t really done anything about it, the red flags obviously scaring me off. You seem to really like her a lot though.”

Sebastian nods. “That’s what’s scaring me. The moment I get interested in someone again, it has to be someone like her. Why can’t it just be another one of us, you know what I mean?”

“You can’t help who you like, Seb,” Chris says simply. “I remember when I first began talking about Jenny publicly and people began saying stuff about her. I almost wanted to ask myself, why her? She definitely didn’t fit in the mold of my exes. But then I thought ‘fuck that, she makes me laugh, she keeps me grounded and she loves my dog’ and just enjoyed my time with her.”

“Too bad that ended huh?” Sebastian asked.

“I think it was for the best that we parted ways and I wasn’t bullshitting when I said she’s one of the most beautiful humans I’ve come across.”

“So what should I do with Y/N?”

“Trust your instincts, man. Besides, if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen no matter what.”

  
  


Sebastian rarely posts on social media and even more rarely about his personal life. The last time he remembers was when he indirectly defended Margarita from fans bashing her. His chest tightened as he suddenly remembered the paparazzi photos of him and Y/N at the airport and the way he stayed silent about it. He had to do it for her, to draw away the unwanted attention that she didn’t deserve. She didn’t commit to anything else after their few days together anyway.

His hands were shaking as he composed the post. It was a photo of him looking out into the sunrise one morning in Atlanta. Anthony had taken it and sent it to him, boasting it was one of his best shots. After a few minutes of searching, he found the perfect quote. It was from Nicholas Sparks. It was perfectly vague, right in character with his other posts. He closed his eyes and said a quick prayer that Y/N would see it and think of him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello hello! How is everyone doing with all of the Sebastian content we've got? Personally, I really liked The Devil All the Time and between 355 and Monday, I can't wait to see him be this wonderful support to all these strong female characters.
> 
> Anyway, I got another update for you all! In this I sorta incorporated his new GF and well...y'all be the judge of it LOL. Thanks for reading!

“You know, I think this manuscript would work better as a screenplay.”

“WHAT?” Your head whipped to the direction of your editor, Regina. Your face creased into an expression that can only be seen as confusion.

“Why not? The more I read this and understand the development of the plot, I keep imagining how great it would look on the big screen. It’s like the characters are just begging to be seen, not just read, you know what I mean?” Regina got up and handed you the edited version of what you’ve written. Your eyes bulged at the chunks of parts she had crossed off. It looks like she’s decided for you on what to do

“Reg...this is...I don’t even know what a screenplay looks like!” you say rather skeptically. A movie? That wasn’t even in the realm of your ideas when you started planning this endeavor.

“Well, lucky for you, I do know someone who could help! What do you say?”

After a few beers and an entire box of four cheese pizza, Regina had sold you into transforming your halfway done manuscript into a movie screenplay. Phone calls were done and meetings were set up the next day.

It took you about a year and a half of work to be able to write half of your book and now that your editor has you convinced that it's better off as a screenplay, you dreaded the possibility of taking another drawn out period of time to turn your manuscript around.

You were back in Regina's home office the next afternoon, waiting for her friend who would help you reconstruct your manuscript into becoming more screen friendly.

"Nervous?" she asks as she hands you a cup of tea. Her phone buzzes before you could even answer, so you just take the proffered cup and take a sip of the tea. Closing your eyes for a second, you hum in satisfaction. 

"Ha, I knew you'd like it!" Regina comes back, making you open your eyes and smiling sheepishly at her. Behind her, you see a tall, somewhat lanky guy in glasses. She steps aside and beckons him beside her. 

"Y/N, this is Logan, he's one of my long time friends, Logan, this is Y/N, the writer I've been telling you about."

You set the mug down and stand up to shake his hand. Up close, you could see the clear amber in his eyes and you thought he looked adorable when he gave you that shy, boyish grin.

"Hi Logan, it's so nice of you to come down on such short notice. Reg says you could help me rewrite my manuscript?" 

He laughs as he takes a firm grip of your hand. He sounded an awful lot like…you mentally shook your head, it had to have been a year now since that time in Chicago, surely he must have forgotten all about you now. You couldn't even bring yourself to think that Instagram post was about you.

"You don't waste time, huh? I like it, I like it," he says to you in response. You blush at your directness and his grin seemed to widen more.

Regina had excused herself, saying she had to call another client, leaving you alone with Logan for the rest of the afternoon. You both dove down to work right away.

"So," Logan turns to you as soon as Regina was out the door. "I read what you got so far and Reg is on to something potentially amazing here. You've been working on it for nearly two years?" 

You nod, feeling somewhat embarrassed. "I uh, I only got working on it full time after I got back from a vacation in the US last year. I had an 8-5 prior and um, I wrote in as much as free time in between would allow."

Logan must have sensed your unease and laid a hand on your shoulder. "Hey," he said placatingly. "It's okay for you to take your time. Art doesn't have a deadline. My first screenplay took me five years to complete."

After that first afternoon, you almost only met with Logan regularly. You set out to meet with him every other day except during the weekends, but somehow he had wormed his way into your life that you hung out with him even during Saturdays. A month and a half had flown by without you really noticing because you were having such a good time working with him.

“I have an idea,” he blurts out one Friday afternoon. The two of you were seated at opposite ends of your medium sized dining table--he was editing your work while you continued to write it. You momentarily stopped and looked at him, curiosity etched in your face.

“Oh god, this better not be another idea that would have me puking my insides in a theme park!” you tell him threateningly. He had you try out some exotic food a few weeks back just before you got inside a theme park. You were game and ate your fill, but the experience did a total 180 and you found yourself sick to your stomach that Logan had no choice but to take you home instead and stay with you to make sure you were okay.

He grimaces for a bit but changes expressions immediately. “You hurt me, Y/N! And besides, we both didn’t know you had allergies! Anyway, as I was trying to say, this week has been pretty brutal, don’t you think?”

You think for a moment, yeah, it had been. You nearly had a nervous breakdown over an important monologue scene with your main character. Logan had been so engrossed with editing that he was startled to see you in tears as you stared at your laptop. It was then he hatched his idea for something fun for you to do for the upcoming weekend.

“Yeah...do pray tell what you have in mind?”

“Okay, open your eyes,” Logan speaks behind you after taking his hands over your eyes. You gasp as you found yourself standing at the entrance of an art gallery housing various works from contemporary and classic painters. You may or may not have mentioned this to him prior as you feel your inspiration shoots up to a million words whenever you lay your eyes on exquisite and thought provoking pieces of art.

“Oh my god, Logan,” you gasp once more as he takes your hand to guide you through. You also notice that there’s nobody else inside but the two of you.

“Logan, we’re the only ones here?” you query.

He lets go of your hand and runs it at the back of his neck, his trademark sheepish smile on display. “I uh, I maybe am friends with the owner? And um, I wanted to uh, do something nice for you. You’ve been working so hard and I thought well, you did say you like looking at--”

You launch yourself to him for a hug. You hear him let out a startled gasp of his own before you felt his arms wrap around you as well.

“Thank you,” you whisper as you burrow your face in his chest. “This is one of the nicest and sweetest things anyone has ever done for me.” Logan hugs you just a little tighter to him before letting you go and showing you around the gallery.

You both were towards the end of the exhibition when your eyes were drawn to an installation in a corner of the room you were currently in. It was a swirl of copper wires that seemed to move like lazy bonfire but were really constructed to look like a tree. The lighting that surrounded it made it look like a hazy vision from where it was perched. You tried to see if there was a title card like the other pieces but there was none.

“This is my favorite piece,” Logan says as he comes up behind you. You continue to stare at it, transfixed. You could only nod, your mind racing a mile a minute with thoughts you’d like to put on paper. If you were looking to be inspired, the piece you were looking at just did the trick.

“Y/N?”

The force by which Logan called your name snapped you back to where you are. You swivel in your place and you nearly knock both of you over as he was standing so close to you. His quick reflexes instead had him gripping your waist and pulling you close to him. Your instinct was to brace your hands on his chest.

You dare to look up and find his eyes regarding you with an expression you haven’t seen from him before. It was as if he was seeing you for the first time. He tilts your chin up with his thumb and index finger and before you can even say anything, he presses his lips gently to yours. You suck in a breath in surprise but respond anyway by kissing him back. Closing your eyes, you try to get further into the kiss but a different face pops up in your head, forcing you to push off of Logan.

Even after all this time, you were still stupidly head over heels for Sebastian.

“Logan, I’m sorry, I can’t--”

He smiles sadly back at you. It’s as if the look in your face told him all he needed to know.

“It’s okay, it’s me who should apologize. I should have asked you first. I can see it all over your face, Y/N. Whoever that guy is, he’s lucky to have your affection. I hope he’s not dumb enough not to return it.”

“Jon...I’m not sure I can--” Sebastian began to say. But the Spanish male model in front of him shook his head. Jon broached the idea of introducing Sebastian to one of his friends, but the latter had been iffy on the idea from the very start. The last time he attempted to date ended in a messy disaster and since the first time Jon had mentioned his friend to him, his stomach did a couple of somersaults and not of the positive kind.

“You have no choice eh? She is coming to Esmeralda’s birthday celebration next month, just give it a chance. I give you her number, she already has yours, just one text and if you don’t still like her, just let her know, she will be cool with it,” he responded in heavily accented English.

He tossed and turned his phone and in between staring at the contact card of Maya Uriarte, Jon’s friend. She’s pretty, he thought and he suddenly remembered the last time he got laid. Maybe she could be down for a couple of days of good, mindless sex and that’ll be the end of it. He chuckled, since when was the last time he thought with his dick instead of his head? Shaking his head, he sent a text to Maya and tossed the phone down on the sofa.

To his surprise, Maya seemed to be on the same wavelength as he is. They hit it off almost immediately and before they both knew it, they were looking forward to meeting in person in Spain in a few days. 

Jon had a knowing smile on his face as he saw his two friends hug it out like they’ve known each other a long time. Sebastian saw this but paid no mind as he grabbed Maya’s hand to walk to their respective rooms. He didn’t waste time and pounced on her right away as soon as she let it slip how she wanted him. He was right this instance, thinking with his cock led to some very great results. Maya was a fucking champ and they went at it for a few hours before they got called out for the dinner celebration for Esmeralda’s birthday.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” he tells Jon who can’t seem to stifle a shit eating grin around him. “We had sex, it was fun, that’s it.”

“Yeah,” Jon waves a hand. “I knew that, I just didn’t think you’d jump each other right away.”

“Four weeks worth of sexting and video calls makes up for a shit ton of sexual frustration,” Sebastian responds before taking a sip of his beer. Maya comes back and sits beside him, draping a leg over his thighs.

“Miss me?” Maya leans close before touching her lips to his. She giggles before pulling away and fiddling with her phone. Sebastian could only smile in response.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heeeyyyy...how's everyone doing? The US elections are coming to a close in a few days, have you already voted? If not, it's not too late to make plans for in-person voting! Exercise your right!

You threw your pen down in exasperation and growled. No matter what you wrote over the last four hours, it always ended up having something wrong. You were down to the final act of the movie and you can’t seem to find a suitable ending for your character.

You laid down on your bed and closed your eyes, maybe some sleep would clear your head. But as soon as you closed them, all you can see is the sad smile Logan gave you after he kissed you then told him no. It had been three days since that day and you knew he was giving the both of you some space to reel from it. How easy would it be to give in to him? He hit all the boxes--he’s smart, funny and most of all, he was right there for you to grab. He’s available not like  _ that _ guy who you’ve been pining for for a little over a year now. Speaking of that guy, and being that you can’t sleep anyway (or at least that’s what you thought), you grab your phone on the bedside and open your Instagram feed. You only follow one hashtag anyway and you immediately smile when you see a shirtless paparazzi picture of him as he stands in what looks to be a yacht. You don’t see the caption right away until you swipe left to see more.

Sebastian in a clear liplock with a blonde woman clad in a bikini. Sebastian looking like he enjoyed it. The two of them lying on the deck of the yacht, Sebastian reaching for her.

Your vision begins to blur with tears, clearly the pictures are proof that the three days you and him spent in a bubble mean nothing to him at all. You felt so stupid to your core that you wanted to bash your head against a wall. Geri and Hart warned you, but you shrugged them off, fully trusting in the genuine connection you had made with him in Chicago. When something was too good to be true, you realized that it really was too good to be true.

Exiting out of the app, you lie face down in your bed, fighting the tears off but they come anyway. Sleep finally takes you, and though you know that what you just saw and learned were true, you still wished you’d wake up and find that it was just a nightmare anyway.

You woke up with a groan, your hunger finally catching up to you. Much as you wanted to stay in bed, you knew you needed to eat. A ring of your phone interrupts your trek to the kitchen.

“Hey, Y/N.”

Your breath hitches as Logan’s familiar, easy drawl floats on your ear. You didn’t know if you wanted to cry or sigh in relief. You were still conflicted despite what you saw earlier. Despite the improbable reality with Sebastian, you weren’t able to just switch off your feelings for him with a flick of a finger.

“Hey...Logan,” you respond rather weakly. “How are you? About last week, listen--”

You hear him take a sharp breath before cutting you off. “Y/N. No. It really is okay. You don’t have to say anything more than what was already said. You didn’t have to and shouldn’t have to apologize for how you feel and who you feel for.”

“I…,” you still wanted to say something, but words seemed to have eluded momentarily. “You’re a fantastic guy, you have to know that.”

He chuckles this time, and you couldn’t help but smile. “I know I am. She’s out there, just need to keep looking a little harder.”

Your stomach grumbles and despite being in a phone conversation, Logan seems to hear it. “Damn it Y/N, did you forget to eat again?”

And just about an hour later, Logan was back in your living room with boxes and boxes of take out fit not just for two, but for about four. You looked at him in shock upon seeing him at your door with it.

“Oh fuck,” you say as you leaned back on the couch. “A girl is never going to lose weight if she keeps eating like she’s doing so for ten people. Are you kidding me Logan?!”

You let out a hearty laugh as you patted your stomach. Logan does too before beginning to clean up. You make to stand but he gives you a stern but playful look. You knew he meant business and so you stayed on your seat and let him finish.

“How’s the ending coming along?” he asks as he comes back after a few minutes. You smile gratefully as he hands you a cup of tea.

“Ugh, you had to ask,” you respond with a bit of annoyance. “I’m fucking stuck. I started writing about a dozen ideas but none seemed to stick. I went at it for half a day and decided to stop and sleep it off but even that I didn’t have luck with.”

“Can I read the last arc again?” he asks. You pull up your laptop and slide it over to him. You wring your hands as he carefully took the time to read your script again, one that he had probably seen tons of times. If there was anyone who could have it memorized other than you, it would have been Logan.

“So?” you were jittery as you asked. You couldn’t decipher anything from him, all you could see was him raising an eyebrow every now and then plus the occasional pause to look at you. Other than that, his expressions were absolutely blank and had left you clueless. “You’re killing me here.”

Finally to your relief, he stops and looks at you. Sliding back your laptop to your side of the table, he leans back and looks at you knowingly.

“I think you know how this ends, Y/N. You wrote Midnight to your likeness. She is you and you’re her.”

That night, you couldn’t sleep once more. You decided to re-read your script and you found yourself gasping at parts you’ve written that were similar to your own experiences. Now you knew what Logan meant when he said you were Midnight and vice versa. Finding renewed energy and inspiration, you finally realized how you wanted to finish your script and spent the rest of the night writing it.

“What the fuck…” Sebastian muttered angrily as soon as he saw his Instagram feed. About a couple of decades in that was the majority of his life he still was none the wiser when it came to paparazzi pictures. He even said hi to the guy who was riding a jetski close to the yacht he rented out for some alone time with Maya. He’d been nice enough and he couldn’t believe that somewhere in his ride was a perfectly concealed camera that had taken photos of them while they enjoyed themselves in what felt like was the perfect summer day.

His email pings as well from an anonymous sender. He absent mindedly clicks it and in it were various screen shots of text message conversations...from Maya and Esmeralda. He had to translate some of them as they were in Spanish but it was clear as day, the women had conspired from the get go, from manipulating Jon to introduce Maya to him, up until inviting him for Esmeralda’s birthday. All just to be photographed with him. It seemed preposterous yet at the same time, this wasn’t new to him.

Deciding to rest for a bit, he makes his way to his room and drops on his bed, falling asleep in minutes.

“Hey Maz,” Sebastian stands up from his seat to give his friend, Joe a hug. “Thanks for meeting me on short notice.”

Joe waves a hand and makes a face at him. “Peesh, you make it sound like an inconvenience. How long have we been friends?”

“Oh man, I don’t know...more than 10 years at least?”

“Exactly. Anyway, what’s up? You don’t look like a guy who enjoyed his vacation. I’m guessing that’s why you wanted to talk?”

Sebastian breathed a sigh of relief. He truly had some of the greatest people in the world to call friends. Joe was definitely high up on the list. They may not see each other often, it amazed him that he still knows him so very well.

He then proceeds to tell him all about the Ibiza pap pictures debacle.

“I think I really like this girl, but man...that email threw me for a loop. What if it’s true?”

Joe takes a sip of his drink before responding. “Honestly?” Sebastian nods.

“I don’t think you like her, Seb.”

Sebastian’s eyes widen in surprise. Maya seemed like a nice girl. She was easy to be with, something he hasn’t really experienced in so long. There were no expectations ever since they started texting up until they finally met in Spain. The sex was good, why wouldn’t he like her?

“Hear me out,” Joe interjects before Sebastian could respond. “You don’t do casual. Hell, you’re one of the few people I know that doesn’t go on one night stands. The way I see it, you just miss being in a relationship so you snatch up the first girl that comes your way. You’re a conversation guy, you like getting to know someone on an emotional level. You love the process of finding if there’s a connection between you and someone else. Not this casual, fuck buddy bullshit you’re doing.”

Now that felt like a punch in the gut. Now that he had some time to think about it, all he and Maya ever did was jump each other like bunnies whenever they were alone. Even porn stars would be put to shame by the sheer number of condoms he had to use. The few things he knew about her were stuff that anyone could find on the internet. The sex was great, but how long can he keep that up?

“I really want to punch you right now,” he mutters weakly. “But damn man, I think you’re right.”

“I  _ know _ I’m right. Hey,” Joe slaps him in the arm. “Whatever happened to that girl you kissed at the airport in Chicago? Will and Chace said you couldn’t shut up about her.”

A tight knot forms in Sebastian’s throat as a pang of regret washes over him.

“You alright?”

“Fuck if I know,” he grits out. “Ugh, this sucks.”

“Your gut has always served you well, my friend. I can’t possibly tell you to dump Maya, that’s your call. But if there’s one more thing I can trust, it’s that we know you much better than you think we do.”

Sebastian didn’t have to wait long. A couple of days after he received the email, he got a text from his publicist about something he found about his current paramour.

_ Max _

_ Got a tip about your girl. I think she set you up for the pap pix. Call me when you get this or better yet,drop by the office. _

“I don’t know who sent this,” Max says as Sebastian takes a seat in front of him. “I thought you might be able to recognize the voices so…” He starts playing the audio file. Sebastian immediately recognizes Maya’s and Esmeralda’s voices talking in fragments of English and Spanish. It doesn’t play long and after it finishes, Sebastian sat there, his mouth open in shock and disbelief.

“Hey, I’m sorry, man,” Max tells him. “As your publicist I’d tell you to keep her for a while, people are wildly interested in you again, but as your friend, if I were you, I’d dump her ass as soon as I can.”

“Fucking hell. Do I look like I have ‘stupid’ branded across my forehead in big, neon letters?”

"Whoa whoa whoa stop it. Just don't fucking go there, alright?" Max says to him in a calming tone. "You're one of the smartest and kindest people I know. It's not your fault your sincerity's always being trampled on. People just suck."

"What do I do then?" Sebastian asks with a sigh.

"I think you already know, Seb."

“Just tell me the truth, Maya,” Sebastian asks, trying his impatience not to show in his voice. As much as he knew it would hurt, he decided to confront her head on about his discovery. Better to put salt on the wounds now so he could focus on healing it later.

“I’m so sorry, Sebastian,” Maya says, half choking as if she was already crying. “It was my intention in the beginning, but I realized it was a mistake when I’d gotten to know you. I genuinely like you. Please forgive me.”

“Well I am sorry too Maya,” he responds with finality. “I can’t be in a relationship that began in a lie. If there was anything you had to learn about me, it’s that I hate people lying to me.”

He wishes her a good life before hanging up, not caring if she still had more to say. “Oh fuck,” he mutters angrily.

Somehow managing to fall asleep after that stressful phone call, he finds himself waking up when it’s dark outside already. Thankful that most of the places he goes to were still open, he changes into jeans and a sweatshirt to grab a meal. A good walk in the early city evening would help him clear his head.

While seated and waiting for his order, he whips out his phone and begins scrolling through his text messages to see who he can badger for a drink or two later on. He stops at a text thread that only has a phone number on it.

His breath stops upon realizing who he was conversing with on the thread.  _ Y/N _ , he thought sadly. It had to have been nearly a year and a half already since those three magical days in Chicago. A tidal wave of memories wash over him--their late night conversations, of her waking up in his arms, of him just watching the gentle rise and fall of her shoulders as she slept peacefully beside him.

The way she melted into him every time they kissed. The way his heart beat out of his chest everytime.

He suddenly felt foolish for not contacting her all this time and even getting involved with a woman who only got together with him because he was famous.

Would it be too late to try and get ahold of her again?

Thankfully, he only had about a year to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're still with me in this story, if you are, thank you for sticking with it! I have a few advanced chapters already written and am thinking of how to give this a really satisfying ending. Let me know what you think! <3


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whew, can't believe I'm more than halfway done with this one! If you're still reading after all this time, I will never stop telling you how I'm grateful for your patience through all my updates. This may not be the best story out there, but your attention despite the many others that are much better than this is more than well appreciated.
> 
> ***
> 
> Well, here we go...our heroine's back in the US and in NYC which could only mean one thing...I promise I won't keep you waiting much after this one! :) Enjoy!

“Holy shit, Y/N.”

You just sat there, looking fearfully and yet expectantly at your editor. Regina had asked you to come that afternoon just as she was finishing reading your screenplay. Logan had finished editing your work a week after turning it in to him. Logan smiled at you and hugged you at having been able to nicely tie up Midnight’s story without cliches. You promised to call him after she hears Regina’s reaction.

“Oh my god, wow, Y/N,” Regina says in awe as she placed the manuscript on her table and beamed at you. “I knew you were green when I took you on, but damn girl, you surprised me. This,” she taps an index finger on the front page. “Is the stuff that gets shown at the biggest festivals in the world. Oh thank God this trip halfway across the world is sooo worth it.”

"W-wait, what?!" you half gasped, half chuckled. "You're-you're not saying what I think you're saying?" 

Regina nods vigorously. "I am saying what you think I'm saying indeed, Y/N. This screenplay will get shopped in New York at the very least. I can’t wait!”

A multitude of emotions hit you at once, none of which you can focus on as they come in like an avalanche. You wanted to be happy that you lucked out at the first editor you ever met but you also realized that since she had accomplished what she’d set out to do when she came to your country, she was gonna leave you soon.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” Regina senses your distress and comes up to sit in front of you. “Talk to me, Y/N. I know this is big news. Tell me what you’re feeling.”

“Reg, nothing I--” you grappled for what to tell her. You tried to take a deep, cleansing breath, but all that got out was a shudder.

“It’s not nothing. Come on, out with it.”

You pour your heart out to her over the course of the next few minutes. She lets you talk it out until she senses you’ve calmed down. You have, thankfully.

“I only have a few friends, and I just thought...well, there goes another one,” you conclude.

“Oh baby girl,” Regina coos and envelops you in a hug. “You’re not losing me! If anything, I think this is just the beginning of an exciting partnership for the both of us. Listen, I wasn’t expecting anything when I came here, just looking for something inspirational, then somehow we met and I’ve been so thankful for it ever since. You’re going to go places, I just feel it, and I want to be the one to help you.”

When you got home is when you really started feeling the excitement and the adrenaline about the possibilities now that Regina was taking it home with her Stateside. You couldn’t suppress the squeal of excitement as you jumped around your apartment.

You then called your sister Lana before calling Logan. He seemed breathless when he answered, but you didn’t pay much attention.

“Oh my god, Logan, you won’t believe what I have to tell you!” You began, your voice giddy like a five year old. When he doesn’t say anything is when you begin to hear the background noise surrounding him--a PA announcing a flight, the buzz of conversation...was he in an airport?!

“W-where are you?”

You could hear him let out a nervous breath before he spoke. “I’m going back home, Y/N. My flight’s leaving in three hours. Regina called me to tell me what she thought of your work and I am so happy and proud of you. I can’t wait to see it on the big screen.”

You fall seated on a chair and hold your phone a little tighter. This can’t be happening.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I thought we--Logan..I-I thought we were okay…” you said, rather confused, fighting off a sob.

“We are!” he counters. “I just...I thought this would be better for us, in the long run.”

“What the fuck do you mean?”

“Y/N,” Logan takes another breath. “I love you. In those few short months I have managed to fall so hard for you that I realized I can’t bear to just be friends. I know I said I’d take anything you’d give me, but I’d be lying to myself if I said I didn’t want more from you. And that would be unfair to you when I know exactly how you feel about me.”

By this time a few tears have begun escaping your eyes. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, but you can’t deny that you agree with what he’s saying to you.

“I wish you would’ve at least given me the chance to say goodbye,” you croaked out. The tears were full on streaming from your eyes now. Why do you always have to separate from the good ones?

“I know, I wanted to see you too. But I think this is what’s best for now. This isn’t goodbye, Y/N. I know our paths will cross again, I promise you that.”

You wipe the tears with the back of your hand and clear your throat. “Okay. So this is just see you later then. I’m going to miss you like hell though.”

“Hey, don’t cry, alright? You’re not making this any easier, you know?” he tries to joke, but you could hear the pain in his voice as he said it. “You take care now, okay? I mean it. Don’t starve yourself.”

You both laugh at this, despite the dreariness of the situation. Logan says his final goodbyes and you just sit there still trying to process everything that has happened to you in the course of just about 24 hours. It’s been a while since you’ve been thrust into such a rollercoaster of emotions that even though it was just early in the afternoon, you already felt so exhausted once more.

Sebastian rubs his palms together as Kayla puts a stack of scripts in front of him. After finishing filming the back to back seasons of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, a Netflix movie and a TV pilot, he took a month to recharge and refresh, much to his management’s chagrin. He’d been non stop for a year, he deserved it. He smiles gratefully at his assistant before taking the first ring bound manuscript.

The title immediately grabs his attention. His jaw drops in shock upon seeing who wrote it.

_**Looking for Midnight** _

_ Written by _

_ Y/N Y/L/N _

He was about to turn the page when Kayla comes back rushing.

“Is that  _ Looking for Midnight _ ?” she asks. Sebastian just absentmindedly nods. “I’m taking that, Leslie said this is already in production, they’re done with casting for it.”

Kayla snatches the manuscript and checks the first page. Her eyes widen in surprise.

“Seb...is this…”

“Yeah, that’s her. Holy shit, K,” he mutters before reclining in his seat. “If that’s in production that could mean…”

“Fuck, Seb, you could actually see her again!”

You couldn’t believe it, you were back Stateside, and this time, not just for leisure but for work. It took about eight months, but Regina did come through, finding a producer willing to take your screenplay. And here you were, a full year after completing your script, in New York to be part of the production process, starting with the casting call.

“Hi, Y/N,” Phillip Eccleston, the director shakes your hand as he leads you to a room where Regina, the casting director and the rest of the producing team were. Regina gets up immediately upon seeing you to give you a hug.

“Oh my god, it is so good to see you!” she breathes. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to pick you up at the airport. How was your flight?”

You smile at her bashfully as you take a seat beside her. “It was okay, I can’t believe you got someone to take my script!” You muse excitedly. She then introduces you to the people on the table. You spend a few minutes on the intros and the perfunctory small talk before the casting director commences the auditions.

You had to keep your cool the entire time, seeing a few people you actually recognized. Some you had even seen a few of their work. You weren’t able to stifle your surprised gasp when Anna Kendrick and Cole Sprouse read for Midnight and Jeremy, the love interest.

“So, what do you think?” Regina asks her. After the auditions, the older woman had taken you out for an early dinner. “You think we got our Midnight?”

Your jaw drops at the incredulity of the day you just had. “I…” you tried to grapple for words. “I need a week to recover, today was insane!”

Regina laughs. “You better practice getting used to it, especially if you’re going to make this a career. You are writing another script, right?”

You nod, you dove right back into writing after she had left, spurred on and inspired by Regina’s enthusiasm about your work. “Yeah, I am. This is really happening huh?”

“I told you,” she tells you knowingly. “It was just a matter of when, and that time is here. We’re gonna have to fix your work visa and find you an apartment!”

You struggled with sleep that night as you recalled the day over and over. You only got your shut eye at almost 4 in the morning, a huge smile on your face that finally things were looking up for you.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Praying this doesn't suck LOL

“Seb?”

Kayla snapped her fingers in front of her boss who seemed to be in a trance after finding out about Y/N’s script.

Sebastian shakes his head and blinks a few times before focusing his eyes on his assistant.

“Kayla, I…”

The assistant nods rapidly, immediately understanding what her boss was asking her to do.

“I got it, boss. Give me until tomorrow and I’ll have everything you want to know. Including her phone number.”

She says her goodbyes after a few more minutes, leaving Sebastian still a dumbfounded mess at the discovery he just made. He takes his phone and finds her Instagram feed to see if she has posted anything that might help confirm if she was possibly back in the US.

“Oh god,” he breathes out. She did post a few days ago, it was a photo collage composed of the JFK airport, a suitcase and a snippet of her screenplay he just saw minutes ago. She was here. And she’s in New York as well. His chest tightened at the actual possibility of seeing her again. He sends a text to Kayla telling her that Y/N was in the city and to speed up on the information.

It seemed you were non stop ever since you hit the ground running in New York. After the auditions, you were sent to a meeting with the scriptwriting team hired to help you refine your script. You immediately hit it off with the two-person team as they shared the same vision with you. They had offered plenty of practical suggestions and improvements which you thought would make your script better.

After about a week, Regina had moved you out of the hotel and into a small, yet cozy one bedroom apartment near her place. The studio had committed to pay for your accommodations until the movie was finished filming.

“Reg,” you ask your mentor while having dinner at your new place. “Is this really customary that the studio does this?”

“Does what?” she asks in between bites.

“Pays for the...writer?”

“What do you mean? Apart from the royalties?”

You nod.

“Well,” she puts down her take out box. “When they committed to your script, I specifically let them know that you’re not from here and that if they are serious about bankrolling your movie, they need to sponsor bringing you here. That’s why they put that in the contract.”

“You negotiated that...for me?”

“Well, yeah, of course,” she says proudly. “This is your first big break, Y/N. I don’t want anyone screwing you over just because you’re new. I’m going to teach you all I know and then let you make your own decisions after. You’re right smack in the middle of the game now.”

You launch yourself on Regina and hugged her as tightly as you could. The older woman chuckles and presses a kiss on your cheek.

“Now, go finish your food, we got another big day tomorrow, casting directors will announce who will make up your characters.”

You woke up early the following morning amidst the low hum of activity outside. You could get used to living in a dynamic city like New York. You check your new phone for messages and find an Instagram notification instead.

**_imsebastianstan_ ** liked your post.

You almost drop your phone in shock. You almost forgot that he also lives in New York. He obviously already knows you’re here, judging by his reaction on your post. You had been so excited to come here that you never even thought of the possibility of seeing him again.

Now, it wasn’t just possible, it was inevitable. A matter of when, not just how.

You feel jittery as you proceeded with your day, the thought of seeing Sebastian again frying your nerves. You specifically avoided having coffee that morning just to prevent the possibility of your heart exploding from your chest. Regina looks at you curiously but doesn’t say anything.

Noontime rolls around quickly, and you find yourself asking Regina if you could spend the two hour break to take a stroll around the area.

“Are you sure? You’re not hungry?”

You nod. “I’m fine, I promise. I just want to look around. I’ll stick close by. It’s a nice day out for a walk.”

“Okay,” she agrees reluctantly. “Just be alert and careful out there, okay? And call me if you need anything.”

“I will,” you tell her with a smile.

You pause for a bit before completely stepping out of the building. You look around and take the scene in front of you--cars passing by, taxis whizzing through and people in various shapes, colors and sizes walking about. You were going to be part of this bustling cauldron of life now, you thought and it excited you to no end.

“Why not send her a message on Instagram instead?” Kayla asks. "I mean, that's how you found out right?" 

"I'm afraid she won't respond," Sebastian replied. He was currently looking at a contact card for Regina Lauren, with Y/N's email address at the back. Kayla had the information within less than 24 hours.

"The hell she won't! Seb, you're overthinking this, she's here! Just…I dunno, say hello and go from there!"

So he does, his fingers trembling as he hit the sideways triangle to send his short and direct message.

**imsebastianstan**

Hi…are you really in NYC? I want to see you.

No sense dilly-dallying, he thought to himself, almost two years is a long time. He really did miss her and now that she could be minutes away, his chest ached with longing.

He stares at his phone absent-mindedly and nearly dropped it when the three dots started dancing on the screen. His breath nearly stopped when she responded. 

**anoriginalnickname**

888 345 1234

You didn’t even stop to think about sending Sebastian your number when he asked to see you. That didn’t mean you weren’t a ton of nerves as soon as you hit send. Now it was a waiting game of whether he’d call and make arrangements to see you.

You were just a few meters back to the building where you were working on your movie when your phone buzzes in your pocket. You take the call, not checking who it was that was calling.

“Hey, where are you? I hope you didn’t get lost or something.”

You smile as Regina’s mother-like worried voice piped through. You grunt a little as you push through the revolving doors before answering.

“I just came back in, I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

Your phone buzzes again, this time from an incoming text. You tell Regina goodbye and swipe to see it was from.

_ (unknown number) _

_ Are you free tonight? Text me your address so I can send an Uber for you. Let’s have dinner :) -Sebastian _

Your knees suddenly feel like jell-o and thankfully you were alone in the elevator where you immediately grab on to the handrails to steady your trembling body and catch your breath. What is even happening right now?! You thought to yourself. After two years, were you really going to see Sebastian?

Heading to the restroom first to recover, you immediately type out a response. You could care less if you sound eager as fuck, hell, you never thought you were never going to see him again. You turn off the sounds and vibrations of your phone, not wanting to be bothered if Sebastian was to reply again. Your last text should have been enough to tide him over until that night.

“Oh fuck,” Sebastian gasped out. He had to read and re-read her response. She had actually agreed to meet later that night. Everything seemed to be happening too fast and too slow at the same time. He abruptly stood up from where he was seated and paced his living room, his thoughts railroading his brain at the possibilities upon seeing Y/N after two years.

He calls Kayla back to his apartment to help him dress up. A pile of clothes were already growing on his bed by the time his assistant came back.

“Really Seb? You’re going through all this trouble? Is it too hard to be yourself?”

Sebastian felt like he was slapped in the face by her words. He sits down on his bed and beckons for her to put his clothes back in the closet.

“I’m sorry for bothering you,” he tells her apologetically. “I still can’t believe I’m seeing her again, you know?”

“Hey, it’s alright,” Kayla responds as she continues putting his clothes back. “I really like her, Seb, not that it matters, but I think she’s the one, you know?”

“You do?”

“I know, I know, it’s way too early to say that, but something changed in you after you met her in Chi-town. I can’t put my finger on it though. But whatever happened there, it was good.”

Kayla stayed for another half an hour which Sebastian was thankful for. She had really gotten him to calm his nerves and though he was still nervous as he waited for her outside his favorite pizza place, it was more of an excited energy, knowing she was just minutes away.

She sends him a text telling him there was just some slight traffic but that she won’t be more than ten minutes away. He responds, telling her it’s alright and he whiles the time away fiddling on his phone.

Ten minutes quickly passes by and a car was stopping in front of Sebastian. He swallowed nervously as the door opened and revealed Y/N.

His breath caught in his throat at seeing her in person once more. She was still as beautiful as she first met him years ago, if not more. She wore no make up, yet the blush of her cheeks were evident, a subtle contrast to her dark locks framing her face. She wore a form fitting striped jersey dress paired with white sneakers and a jean jacket. His throat went dry as a stick when she finally smiled at him.

“Hi,” she says as she steps into the canopy where he was standing. She just stands awkwardly there, as if waiting for him to do the first move.

“Y/N…” he whispers her name reverently and throwing all caution to the wind, he gingerly pulls her to him by her waist and grazes his lips over hers in the most gentle of kisses. He hears her gasp, but immediately melts into his hold. He was smiling like an idiot when they broke off.

He grabs her hand and leads her inside. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey you! Happy new year! What a crazy first week huh?
> 
> Anyway, here's some more fluff for all y'all LOL. It's all I can seem to write about. Hope you still enjoy this!

You were dumbfounded even as he led you inside the restaurant, your steps feeling like you were floating instead. When you finally reached your table you stopped before taking your seat. Sebastian looks at you quizzically with a tinge of concern.

Everything felt like it was happening too fast and too slow at the same time. It still hasn’t sunk in that you were with him again. You still couldn’t believe that he was right here, and the thought made you dizzy. 

“Is everything alright?” he finally asks while taking both your hands in his. “Talk to me.”

You try to say something but nothing materializes out of your mouth, a helpless sigh coming out instead. Sebastian senses your struggle and guides you to sit instead.

“Too fast?” he asks. You truthfully didn’t know what to say to that and you felt bad that you haven’t said a single word ever since you arrived.

“I’m sorry, this was a bad idea,” he says ruefully. He pulls out his phone from his pocket and begins tapping on the screen. “I’m getting you a cab to take you back home. I shouldn’t have rushed you into meeting. God, I’m so stupid.”

You let out a small gasp and instinctively reach for his phone and pressed his hand down on the table.

“I don’t want to go home... _ yet. _ I...I should be the one apologizing,” you sighed inwardly in relief that you weren’t as mute as you seemed. Sebastian looks at you and he’s smiling in relief. He takes your hand and kisses the back of it, the action making you blush.

“You make me...ugh, I can’t explain it, but I feel like no time has passed. I don’t know what is it about you, but you...you...I haven’t felt this way in a long time.”

Your heart melted as he fumbled for his words. How is it possible that not even an hour has passed that you two were together that he was making you feel all sorts of things already?

“I guess I could say the same thing,” you respond to him as you realize he’s still holding your hand between you over the table. “I didn’t know what to expect when you asked to see me and I still couldn’t believe I’m here. With you. This is just truly insane to me, Sebastian.”

“Let’s take it slow, okay? The last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable. I want to do everything right, Y/N.”

You nod your agreement and you proceed with your evening.

As soon as that initial awkwardness has passed, you realized how really easy it was to be with Sebastian. You fell into step with the conversation with him as he told you everything he’d been up to since the last time you saw him. You were amazed at how many movies of his you had to catch up on.

“I’m so sorry I haven’t seen any of your work since Endgame,” you say remorsefully. “That screenplay took a huge chunk of my time.”

“It’s okay,” he tells you reassuringly. “I got so excited when I saw it a few days ago. How far along are you guys in production?”

“We just finished casting yesterday, and I’m working with a small team of writers for a few touch ups to the script. Everything is so new and exciting and I sometimes pinch myself to remind me how real this thing is.”

“Too bad I can’t be in it,” he says.

“Nah,” you respond. “You’re too...old?”

You smirk at him and laugh.

“You’re one to talk! But seriously, I am so happy for you. Truly. Wait, was that the book you were writing when we met?”

You nod. “Yeah, my editor friend told me it’d work better visually instead so she got someone to help me rewrite it.”

You feel a tiny pinch at your chest upon remembering Logan and how he helped you make your screenplay happen. You had hoped that wherever he was, that he was as happy as you are right now.

“That’s good. I hope you can let me read it sometime.”

“Um, yeah, sure, of course,” you tell him. “It was quite an experience writing it. I just really hope it translates well on screen.”

You spend the rest of the night talking and catching up on each other’s activities over the past couple of years. It inevitably led to your dating lives while you were separated and Sebastian’s expression changed as he hesitated to tell you about the Spanish actress he’d been photographed with. 

“It’s okay,” you say to him, reaching out for his hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. “You don’t have to tell me what happened.”

“She used me, Y/N,” he tries to say as calmly as he could, but you could tell he was actually mad about it. “I just...I thought I could trust her, but she just…”

“Hey, it’s alright. You don’t have to beat yourself over something you didn’t have any control over to begin with. She chose to do what she did to you, whatever it was, along with the consequences that came with it,” you tell him earnestly. You hated seeing him cutting himself up for something that had happened months ago.

“See, this is why I missed you,” he says. “You always know what to say without sounding like a Hallmark greeting card. You know how to make me feel better.”

You look at him, slightly puzzled. Sebastian smiles at you with confidence in response.

“I mean it, Y/N. I’m just sorry it took me making that colossal mistake before realizing I should have chased you all along.”

“Then why didn’t you?” You blurt out and you instantly regret it. “No--I didn’t...I don’t mean...oh god, I’m an idiot.”

“No, you’re not. That’s the last thing you’ll ever be. You were totally well within your rights to limit what we can and can’t be given the circumstances at the time. All I’m saying is that I should probably have made an effort to change your mind.”

Tears began warming your eyes, threatening to drop if you so much as breathe out a word. Your own regret was also catching up to you.

“I kept wishing I didn’t say what I said to you. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you over the last two years,” you say shakily, the helplessness you felt when you struggled whether to get in touch with him hitting you differently now that he was right in front of you.

“There had been someone else for me too but…”

Sebastian’s breathing stopped when Y/N said there was someone else in between the time they were apart. Then again he couldn’t blame her, they weren’t officially together and he had no right to be jealous, just as she seemed not to when he was with Maya.

“But what?” he asked.

“He knew right away my heart belonged to someone else,” she answers, her voice just above a whisper. Her eyes bore into him and the relief he felt washed over him like a strong waterfall.

“Y/N…”

She was falling for him, just as he was falling for her too. The thought excited him more than he had anticipated.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come in?” Y/N asked as she and Sebastian stood in front of her apartment door. Sebastian was fighting not to give in to her invitation, knowing full well he wouldn’t be able to stop himself as soon as the door closed behind him and with Y/N in front of him.

He shakes his head once more. She looked so inviting, his brain imagining a million different scenarios already with what he wanted to do to her. His eyes land on her lips as she caught it between her teeth.

“Don’t do that,” he says, the agony evident in his voice.

“Do what?” she asks innocently, and he could see that she didn’t have the slightest clue at all.

“That...lip bite thing. Jesus Christ, Y/N, you’re driving me nuts,” he says in a clipped voice. Her eyes widen at hearing the desperate need in him.

“Okay,” she whispers. “Will you kiss me goodnight instead?”

Her arms draped over his shoulders making him respond by automatically holding on to her waist and gripping it tight as he eliminated the space between them.

“God yes,” he whispers back in relief. He leans forward and takes her bottom lip between his teeth. She gasps but she returns with her opening her mouth so he can slide his tongue in. The kiss was nothing like the chaste one he gave her earlier at the restaurant. This was two years worth of longing for her to be in his arms like this, kissing her until he lost his mind. His hands moved to the small of her back just as he deepened their kiss, making her arch it, inadvertently pushing her hips towards his. A cross between a gasp and a moan escaped her throat as he was sure she felt how hard he was for her.

He presses her against the door and begins grinding against her. She doesn’t seem to mind as she does the same, whimpering at the way his crotch grazed her own. When they pulled apart, Sebastian had managed to grab her wrists and pin it over her head. The way her chest heaved as she panted her breaths made him want to pull her dress up, tear her underwear and fuck her senseless by the door, not caring if they were outside where people might see.

“This…,” he said while trying to calm his breathing. “Is why I can’t come inside.”

“Slow,” she whispers. “We’re taking it slow...okay...okay.”

“Yeah, slow,” he echoes her, much to his regret. “We have all the time in the world now.”

He slowly puts her arms down but not before kissing her one last time.

“I have to go,” he says over her lips.

“I know,” she says. Sebastian finally gets some semblance of control back and manages to create distance between them.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Sebastian.”

He could feel her eyes on him as he walked towards the elevator and he was right as he took one last glance at her. She waves a little at him, making him smile sheepishly before stepping into the elevator car. He leans back and lets out a huge breath. The night couldn’t have been more perfect.

Y/N was back in his life, and he wasn’t planning on letting her go whatever happens.


End file.
